The Guacamole Bear raided avocado orchards near the California coastline. When a bear goes on a feeding spree in an orchard he does not care if the tree will grow fruit tomorrow or next year. And that was how the Guacamole Bear operated. He worked hard at feeding his appetite, destroying numerous trees during his nighttime raids. As he gained weight he broke down more of the avocado trees and he found that the fruit in a treetop was his when the tree broke off. A good tree can produce two hundred pounds of fruit, and he was quickly turning it into bear scat.
The farmer was facing long term financial loses because trees where going to need to be replaced and it would take years before they would produce fruit. And his neighbors thought the fat bear was cute. If the bear were killed his neighbors would be mad at him. Working with the State Fish & Game Department the bear was captured in a baited culvert trap.
The bear was weighed and checked for disease, injuries and other problems. He was found to be a healthy overweight bear.
At that time the Fish & Game knew that moving problem bears around just moved the problem, it did not solve the problem. They also knew that problem bears normally become more aggressive as time goes on. But the pressure was on not to kill the bear. Plan “B” was executed. The bear was moved to a high mountaintop in the Northern Serria mountains. While the mountaintop was isolated and a drive up many switch backs was required to drop out the bear, the direct route to the resort towns at the base of the mountain was rather short.
The Guacamole Bear had been living the good life and had been eating his fill for a long period of time. He knew that man and food were associated. He was working to hard, and could not find the food he needed on the mountaintop. His powerful sense of smell detected the smell of human found as the heated air rose up from the resorts below in the chimney created by the canyon which ran to the bottom of the mountain. When he came down to the restaurants near the State Highway the smell of decaying food in the large garbage bins behind the restaurants made him pickup the pace. He picked up the smell of avocado from behind the Mexican Restaurant.
Just before he got to the garbage bin the odor of freshly crushed avocado flowed over him. He rushed in the direction of the smell, breaking down the screen door at the back of the restaurant. The cook who was making fresh guacamole and the Mexican bus boys scattered.
The neighborhood was in an uproar, the tourist like the bear, but were afraid to leave their cars and spend their money in the restaurants. Citizens wanted to shoot the bear, but were afraid of prosecution, and they were receiving threats from the save the bear people. The State Fish & Game people sprung into action. A culvert bear trap was put into place. After waking from his nap the bear entered the baited trap.
The debate raged among the Fish & Game employees, should they kill the bear or move the Bear. Inside the Department the Guacamole Bear was becoming an in-house legend. His supporters won, and he was moved to a new home on the other side of the mountain range.
The problem is that if you move a hungry bear to another location, the bear is still hungry. There were no avocadoes around his new home, but there were a lot of sheep on the summer range. Avocadoes go as a good side dish to a leg of lamb, but it is not appreciated when the leg of lamb belongs to somebody else. The bear killed and injured numerous sheep in one night; the net result was the Guacamole Bear was put down.
I have always loved guacamole with Mexican food and a beer. And I like good guacamole dip with chips. Thanksgiving and Christmas are important for our family. We start out mid morning with chips, dips, cheeses, pickles and other items. Most of the dips my wife makes up from the basic ingredients.
My first real taste of guacamole must have been fifty years ago when my brother guided a man from Southern California dove hunting. He was happy because he shipped a case of avocados to our house. When I picked it up from the post office I did not know what they were. But we eat slice avocado, and guacamole for a couple of weeks, it was almost as good as ice cream.
My wife and I were doing our grocery shopping just before Thanksgiving. As husbands are supposed to do I grabbed this or that what looked like the family and friends will eat. For Thanksgiving Day I purchased an item labeled Guacamole Dip. When openned looked like green slime. During the day the homemade dips, and the commercial Picante Sauce disappeared. The green slime sold as Guacamole Dip was tossed at the end of the day. The makers of green slime must be krafty, to market their product.
I told my wife that we would not buy green slime again. On our last shopping day, I purchase four nice avocados. I made avocados into Guacamole dip today. I will make up two more before Christmas dinner.
Two points are to be made, (1) Do not defraud the people, (2) Bad bears, and fraudulent producers need to be taken care of.
