Author Topic: Jim Zumbo's new Job Staples Sales Clerk. (satire)  (Read 647 times)

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Offline jh45gun

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Jim Zumbo's new Job Staples Sales Clerk. (satire)
« on: February 22, 2007, 05:01:59 AM »
As I write this, I'm opening boxes of Post-It Notes in the main store in southeastern Wyoming with Freddie Svenson, Dayshift Manager for 3M, Grant Vennison, who is senior research engineer for 3M, and several other stock boys. We're testing Freddie's keys to his 1978 Pacer on several boxes of the new, hot-pink Post-It Notes.

I must be living in a vacuum. Grant tells me that the use of 'box cutters' have a rapidly growing following among stockmen, especially office supply workers. I had no clue. Only once in my life have I ever seen anyone using one of these dangerous utensils.

I call them "assault" utensils, which may upset some people. Excuse me, maybe I'm a traditionalist, but I see no place for these weapons among our restocking fraternity. I'll go so far as to call them "terrorist" utilities as they were used in bringing down airplanes on 9-11. They tell me that some companies are producing "safety" blades.

Sorry, folks, in my humble opinion, these things have no place in opening boxes. We don't need to be lumped into the group of people who terrorize the world with them, which is an obvious concern. I've always been comfortable with the statement that stock clerks don't use assault box cutters. We've always been proud of our "just sharp enough keys."

This really has me concerned. As stock replenishers, we don't need the image of walking around the store carrying one of these weapons. To most of the public, an box cutter is a terrifying thing. Let's divorce ourselves from them. I say other departments should ban them from the warehouse and showfloor.

Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use it.

Offline Tn Jim

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Re: Jim Zumbo's new Job Staples Sales Clerk. (satire)
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2007, 10:55:44 AM »
That's good jh45gun. Unfortunately what Dumbo said makes about as much sense. At least yours was funny!
Not all Muslims are terrorist, but oddly enough, all terrorist are Muslims.

Offline doc_kreipke

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Re: Jim Zumbo's new Job Staples Sales Clerk. (satire)
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2007, 11:04:36 AM »
From the London Evening Standard, Oct 31, 1996:

Quote
A man who uses a knife as a tool of his trade was jailed today after police found him carrying three of them in his car. Dean Payne, 26, is the first person to be jailed under a new law making the carrying of a knife punishable by imprisonment. Payne told ... magistrates that he had to provide his own knife for his job cutting straps around newspaper bundles at the distribution plant where he works .... Police found the three knives--a lock knife, a small printer's knife, and a Stanley knife--in a routine search of his car.... The court agreed he had no intention of using the knives for "offensive" purposes but jailed him for two weeks anyway.

....

[The magistrate said] "I have to view your conduct in light of the great public fear of people going around with knives...I consider the only proper punishment is one depriving you of your liberty."

The slippery slope. It could happen here ...
-K

Offline DWTim

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Re: Jim Zumbo's new Job Staples Sales Clerk. (satire)
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2007, 12:14:43 PM »
England has a long and storied history of using weapon confiscation, and specifically gun control, for the purposes of disarming political or religious enemies, so they could be subdued. The factions have been the King's army, Parliament (both with and against the King), "republican" rebels, Catholics and Protestants. Jailing someone with utility knives is a ridiculous in the extreme.

In New York City, the Sullivan Act was believed to put the immigrants of the day under better control, by letting the natives arm themselves, but not the undesirables. So the point is that gun control / disarmament is and always was a way to put your political opponents in such a position of disadvantage, that they likely will not fight when it comes time to impose your will upon them.

I'm just trying to figure out who are the two sides in the contemporary battle. I believe it is Marxists versus Free Capitalists.

Offline Brett

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Re: Jim Zumbo's new Job Staples Sales Clerk. (satire)
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2007, 04:17:57 PM »
Good grief Charlie Brown.  :-[   Busted for possession of knives with the intent to work.  This is why we must stand together no matter what our particular guns of choice are. 
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Offline Graybeard

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Re: Jim Zumbo's new Job Staples Sales Clerk. (satire)
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2007, 06:45:55 PM »
One BIG difference between them and us is that British folks are SUBJECTS and we're CITIZENS but only so long as we have our guns. Take away those guns and we're mere subjects like them and subject means you are SUBJECT to whatever those in power want to shove on you.


Bill aka the Graybeard
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I am not a lawyer and do not give legal advice.

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Offline Tn Jim

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Re: Jim Zumbo's new Job Staples Sales Clerk. (satire)
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2007, 12:26:07 PM »
Bill, that is exactly why our Founding Fathers wrote the 2nd ammendment in the first place.
Not all Muslims are terrorist, but oddly enough, all terrorist are Muslims.