Author Topic: my struggle (Read 1255 times)

myronman3 · « **on:** June 12, 2007, 07:59:58 AM »

well as many of you know, myronman got a divorce. i raise two boys on my own.
after getting back into dating, i have been blessed to have met a wonderful woman with an amazing little girl. this woman shares all of my interests, from fishing to shooting, to casting bullets and gun shopping, to food and drink. my friends and family all think she is wonderful, there is no doubt she truely is.
i became something of a hound when i was single, and it is something i hesitate to give up. there is no doubt she is worth it; still, i hesitate. i am trying hard to be a good and honorable man.
...just needed to get it off of my chest...

Brett · « **Reply #1 on:** June 12, 2007, 08:38:45 AM »

I've been married to the same wonderful woman for the past 24 years. A true soul mate is difficult to find. If she is all that you say she is don't blow it over a cheap fling.

Glanceblamm · « **Reply #2 on:** June 12, 2007, 09:19:12 AM »

What Brett said cept I have been married to the same wonderful woman for 28 yrs. The two of us grew into six and now it is 11 to include a grandchild that is on the way.
Ultimately, it is family that really matters and it is good to have family around as one gets older.
Besides...With b-day, Fathers-day, & CHRISTmas coming around yearly, I dont hardly have to buy powder n ball anymore.

powderman · « **Reply #3 on:** June 12, 2007, 04:59:40 PM »

My wonderful wife and I have been married 27 years. A fling is just that, maybe good sex, but it will leave you empty. True love is worth nourishing, spoil her, treat her like a lady, she deserves it if she is as wonderful as you described. POWDERMAN.

no guns here · « **Reply #4 on:** June 12, 2007, 11:58:53 PM »

Same situation a few years back. It wasn't hard to give it up at the time, but if you and your girl aren't "compatible" you'll spend a lot more time over the next few years thinking about the past than is healthy. Trust me on this one... Spend a LOT of time preparing the way ahead with the kids. Blending a family is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do. Best of luck...

ngh

rockbilly · « **Reply #5 on:** June 13, 2007, 06:29:40 AM »

Isn't marriage wonderful? My wife and I have enjoyed 2 years of wedding bliss...........course if we make it until next June we will have been married for 50 years.

No seriously, after almost 50 years, I would do it again. It hasn't always been pleasant, but we were always able to work our problems out and remain together. We made a pact, never ague over money, respect each others opinions, try to agree on a solution to problems that we both could live with, trust each other, do things together, and allow each other the freedoms to enjoy our lives, to never walk away, or go to bed mad, and most important, kiss each other and say I love you as often as possible. So far it has worked for us.

victorcharlie · « **Reply #6 on:** June 13, 2007, 05:04:54 PM »

I was divorced in 1980. I've been married to my soul mate for 23 years now. I dated several good women who would have made wonderful wives but for what ever the reasons I passed them by.

Only you know when your ready. If your not ready, your likely to repeat the mistakes of the past.

If she's the one, you'll know.

williamlayton · « **Reply #7 on:** June 14, 2007, 12:30:52 AM »

Marriage is a hardheaded business--if it is to be successful. The Hen and I have been at it for 44 years.
The older I get the more I learn/think/see that this hound business is just temporary insanity. What do you do the other 23 hours of any day you interrupt your schedule for time alone with her??
The needs for conquest--the need to roam--the need to prove yourownself is a wasted effort and lacks any fruitful outcome, BUT; the lasting memories of times with a mate just sitting in the shade are far better and more memorable than the rest of this stuff.
If she is solid, hardheaded & sensible you will cherish the day she decided you were worth the effort.
Mine could have killed me several times and not a jury in Texas would have convicted her--I, also, would have agreed with her decision.
A good Honorable woman is hard to find and makes up for anything lacking in the bedroom.
Blessings

corbanzo · « **Reply #8 on:** June 14, 2007, 03:52:31 AM »

Yeah, make sure you think it over, it is better to commit to something and know you are ready and have it work... than to think you are ready and then royally screw things up. (from experience) But if you found a woman that good, that isn't something to pass on.

Dusty Miller · « **Reply #9 on:** June 14, 2007, 06:22:54 PM »

I don't know how old your are, I'm 64, but for the record, older men do not fair well in this world without a woman in their lives.

magooch · « **Reply #10 on:** June 16, 2007, 04:00:23 AM »

Also remember that there's something about a wedding ring that tends to turn a great woman into a bitch.

toysoldier · « **Reply #11 on:** June 17, 2007, 04:00:49 PM »

Myronman, if she is that great, and you don't snap her up, send her my way. I'd be happy to trade in the current missus for one like that! Of course, if she IS that great, and you are hesitating because you still want to play around, we may have an explanation for your first divorce.

Take a long, hard look at yourself. Figure out who you are and what you want. Then make a decision and stick with it. Your boys don't need another splitup.

myronman3 · « **Reply #12 on:** June 19, 2007, 06:05:33 AM »

Quote from: magooch on June 16, 2007, 04:00:23 AM

Also remember that there's something about a wedding ring that tends to turn a great woman into a bitch.

that is part of it i am sure. seen it before, a woman i thought i knew turned into something else entirely. alot of it could be the whole "once bitten twice shy" syndrome.

Quote

Of course, if she IS that great, and you are hesitating because you still want to play around, we may have an explanation for your first divorce.

not the case. you dont know me so i cant be angry about you thinking maybe that was it. let me assure you, it wasnt the case at all. while married, i was 1000% committed to that marriage and that woman and my kids. it is just that once single again, i realized that there is an up side to everything and i kind of like the up side to this.

victorcharlie · « **Reply #13 on:** June 19, 2007, 12:16:50 PM »

A woman marries a man and thinks she'll change him.

A man marries a woman and thinks she'll never change.

Neither, could be farther from the truth.

Brett · « **Reply #14 on:** June 19, 2007, 12:29:35 PM »

Quote from: magooch on June 16, 2007, 04:00:23 AM

Also remember that there's something about a wedding ring that tends to turn a great woman into a bitch.

My guess is that the bitch was inside her the whole time, the wedding ring just brought it out int the light.

Heavy C · « **Reply #15 on:** June 19, 2007, 06:30:46 PM »

A buddy of mine has a saying about women when it comes to playing the field. "Women are like cupcakes. They might be decorated differently on top, but flip them over and they're all the same." I had played the field for a while when I met my wife and didn't hesitate one bit. If she shares so much in common with you. If she is the same person when she's around you and the same person when both of you are around your friends and family; then you need to go for it.

Good luck!

no guns here · « **Reply #16 on:** June 19, 2007, 09:14:26 PM »

Walk her down the aisle and she'll never be the same again... Why do you think a bride is smiling? She knows that she can be a total bi$%^ and you can't do anything about it... she knows that she'll never have to do "that" again... she can get fat... now she gets all of your money and you only get an "allowance"... face it, the only upside to marriage for a man is the kids and grandkids. If you want sex, you get far more of it when single. If you want money and toys, single is the way to be. If you want freedom to hunt, fish, watch football or just be with your friends, stay single. When you are single you get time to go to the gym. No one counts your beers. You get to drive a nice car/truck/bike. You can have a bass boat. Can anyone honestly say that they have more time for those things after they got married??? NOT! I'm married now but not really happy as you can tell. The only good thing about it for me is my kids. Two stepkids, one daughter from previous relationship and now my youngest son from this marriage. Not too worried about the older ones as they are all mid-teens. Wouldn't trade any of that fun stuff for my youngest one though. I'll just have to tough it out for about ten more years of pain.

ngh

Brett · « **Reply #17 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:39:22 AM »

No Guns, Man, I feel for you buddy. Sounds to me like you should have spent more time really getting to know her before you walked her down the isle.

williamlayton · « **Reply #18 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:47:03 AM »

I don't know where some of you boys found the women you complain about, but, if you keep looking for them in the same places your results are likely to be the same---again and again and again.
Not all women are good---not all men are worth killing---wonder why they keep getting together and and expecting the other to fulfill all the things necessary for a good marriage.
If one could find the perfect man/woman it is doubtful that he/she would give the other a second look.
From the readings--&--just my observations over the years some men and women don't know why they marry but it sure doesn't fit into their plans. They all seem to forget this pretty soon and here they go again.
It is a hardheaded business--this marriage thing.
Blessings

Graybeard · « **Reply #19 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:00:15 PM »

Ain't that the truth Bill.

While it ain't all been smooth sailing me and Faye are still together after all these years. September 3 will make it 42 years.

In all those years I've pretty much done what I wanted, bought whatever guns I wanted and gone to whatever places I felt were of interest to me.

rockbilly · « **Reply #20 on:** June 20, 2007, 07:06:35 PM »

Making a marriage work is kinda like making a garden grow, you have to cultivate it.

Heavy C · « **Reply #21 on:** June 22, 2007, 04:35:04 AM »

Quote from: rockbilly on June 20, 2007, 07:06:35 PM

Making a marriage work is kinda like making a garden grow, you have to cultivate it.

Well put Rockbilly. Both parties have to be committed to making it work, lots of communication, and compromising on both sides.

No Guns I hope things turn around for you.

C.

beemanbeme · « **Reply #22 on:** June 22, 2007, 05:02:38 AM »

I was married for 45 years before my wife went to Heaven. We weren't June and Wally Cleaver but I'd give all I've got and all the time I have left if God would give me 15 more minutes with my wife.

Treat your woman right and you wouldn't be needing to run the streets to get satisfaction.

myronman3 · « **Reply #23 on:** June 22, 2007, 09:42:51 AM »

treated the first one right and look what it got me.....

i figured i was married for life, and one day the rug was pulled from under my feet. makes a fella a little gunshy...lol

weasel · « **Reply #24 on:** June 22, 2007, 12:14:08 PM »

These kind of comments sound like a blast from the past, was married for 15 yrs, she died from a medical mistake and no, I didn't sue. I used to feel guilty having freedom afterwards, but sure enjoyed being single, which didn't include catting around. Sure didn't want to hook up again, but hooked up with a girl I knew from high school 6 years ago, been married 3 1/2 yrs now. She was a siren in high school and she's still HOT! (30 yrs later). She makes more money than me and spends it on me, like Zeiss spottiong scopes, 4-wheelers, motorcycles, guns, and no junk, she buys me the best. I bought her a new car, she's mad now, thought I should have bought a new truck for myself. I take off 2 mos. each year to hunt/guide, she does chores while I'm gone, the neighbors say she chops ice out of the horse water and feeds in her high heels and business suit before work. Every Sunday (her only day off) we explore, recharges our batteries.

Never could have found someone this great on my own, God brought us together and we thank him every day. I didn't think there were women like her, or that spouses could get along this well.