I'd agree with several earlier posters that it is the gun more than the cartridge that makes a world of difference. Add to that, the grip you choose. About 20 years ago I had a 629 S&W .44 that I put Pachmeyer Gripper grips on. The grips were fairly hard rubber, and fairly narrow on the backstrap. The grips coupled with the DA grip shape made this gun painful to shoot. Every shot drove the narrow backstrap into the web of my hand between thumb and forefinger. I was only a few years out from having hand surgery, so undoubtedly that made me more sensitive. Regardless, I finally ended up trading the gun away, assuming that must be my limit for recoil. I shot a Desert Eagle .44 for a while and found that easy, but like holding a brick. Then I bought a Ruger SBH .44 with a 5.5" barrel. I find that to be a downright pussycat to shoot. Even shooting hot handloads and Corbon thumpers give me no trouble at all. It's all in the grip style.
A few years ago I bought a Ruger SRH .480. Considering my past 629 experience with the DA grip style, I bought a Hogue rubber monogrip. It is much more hand filling than the gripper grips I had on the Smith. While it was nothing like the unhappiness I suffered with the Smith, it was still less than pleasant, akin to slapping your hand on a table at every shot. It wasn't like the recoil was actually slamming the gun hard enough to really hurt, more of a stinging yank. I got used to it, have learned to shoot it pretty well, have taken 2 deer with it, but still considered it my new recoil limit. My best group to date is a 3.5" 6 shot group at 100 yds off a rest. After a bit of shooting over the years, I surmised that maybe the rubber grip was the problem. The SBH .44 has the SA style with polished Lett grips on it that allows the gun to slip slightly in the hand at the initial snap. My theory was that maybe the rubber was sticking to the skin of my hand so that it was yanking the meat of my hand around at each shot, hence the sting to the fleshy part of the hand. I decided to purchase a new polished wooden grip from Hogue. Kind of an expensive experiment at a bit over $100, but I had some birthday money to kill. I bought what they call their "Big Butt" grip. It has finger grooves and an extended butt piece to allow the shooter to rest it on a pad if you like. I installed it this week and took it to the range. Outstanding!! The sting is gone. The gun still recoils with gusto, but no sting to the hand. All in all, very manageable and user friendly. I shot 40-50 rounds of hot handloads (325 gr Gold Dots over Lil'Gun @ 1450-1475 fps, and 275 gr Gold Dots over H110 @ 1550-1600 fps). At the very end, the side of my shooting hand thumb was starting to complain slightly. After some scope tweaks, my best group with the 325 gr at the 25 yd range limit was one ragged hole, 0.395" C-2-C. The next step is to get out to the woods and try it at a longer distance. I set it up about 1/2" high at 25 yds, so it should be reasonably close at 100yds.
So, I guess I am back to not knowing my recoil limit once again. Must be time to go shopping for a new toy. Maybe it's finally time for a .454 or .475 FA! (if I could only afford one)? Or one of those nifty .460 S&W? Or maybe time for a Contender for those long shots? Decisions... Decisions...
