I went through the step kid situation with lady whose teen age daughter was beyond salvage. If any of what happened to me is happening to you, man I feel your pain. You name it, she did it. I was never considered the head of the household, I was always hit with "you're not my dad" and all that crap. The other half was given a choice by me, and that was counseling (and a few other things like shutting off the faucet of continually throwing money at the problem) or it was done. She made her choice, I bailed. I was able to bail completely intact as we had no children together. You are in a diff situation, but I am betting she is letting the kid run rampant.
Intervention, YES. But be careful, don't get an idiot for a counselor who tries to broker a deal over the kid. They need to get her to deal with the issue (if that's the main one). As for anger management, well, enough has been said already.
No offense to you, anyone else, nor the gals reading, but NONE OF THEM are worth you getting that upset and going to jail. They drive you that nuts head to the office and keep your head down. Take a few days and regroup. The advice the folks above have given is all good. But remember, you have to take care of yourself and your own child.
Good luck.
RR