I was reading another post and someone said alcoholics and smokers never get over the cravings. They may quite but the cravings are still there. I agree with him to a point. I sat down and thought about my situation. After some honest reflection, I decided to pass on my experiences maybe it will help someone else to quite.
Drinking
I started drinking right after Basic Training. I was 19 at the time. Back then if you had a military ID card you could buy booze at the base liquor store. The guys in the dorm had little to do after work each day, so they sat in the dorm, or the local snack bar and drank, till time for bed. Often skipping dinner for a liquid meal. After four years of dorm life, I moved in with a couple that both drank heavily. Every morning we each had to have a drink to stop the shakes. One drink would get them slowed so we could start doing other things, but it took two drinks to stop them. Then an hour later we would start getting a headache so we would take two more drinks to stop the headache. The rest of the day we would be sneaking a drink here and there, not realizing how much we were really drinking. Then when we got off work each day we would go home and have a couple of drinks while we fixed dinner and watched TV. Then after dinner the serious drinking started. I would drink a fifth of Vodka alone from dinner till I went to bed. After several years of this I got orders to go to Alaska. That is when my buddies wife pointed out I was drinking between two and three fifths of Vodka a day. She was drinking two six packs of beer and a fifth of Jim Beam everyday. Her husband was drinking two fifths of Southern Comfort each day. She asked me if I could quite drinking, I laughed, I did not have a problem she had a problem. I went home on leave before going to Alaska. Gosh it was hard sneaking a drink without my Mother knowing. As we went to visit relatives in the car the DTs would set in. I would get the shakes till I could get a drink or two. Many times I was desperate for a drink, but fear of my mother kept me from letting that fact out. My mother is a mean, vicious, abusive woman. My Dad did notice, but he did not say anything. The day they took me to the airport to catch my flight was such a relief. At the airport I bought 12 of those little bottles of vodka for the trip to Chicago, some more in Chicago to get me to Seattle. Then more to get me to Anchorage, and to Fairbanks. It felt good getting back to my normal state of drunken bliss. I told you guys this so you will know how bad off I was. I was spending almost my entire paycheck each month on Vodka. Good thing the base sold it cheap back then. But the most ironic thing was that few people knew. I operated equipment, drove trucks, cars, and my motorcycle everyday. And no one knew. I'm not proud of doing that, it's just a fact. And I survived some really stupid things, like the night I opened the door and got out of the car going 70 mph on the freeway. I slid forever, got up brushed myself off and walked away, looking for a drink. God protects fools and drunks. That night I got a double dose, cause I was both.
When I got to Fairbanks, I was in a state of bliss. I walked into the dorm, and there were the guys sitting in the hallway floor. Most were drinking wine, all were drinking something. Several were stupid drunk, and belligerent. I dealt with them and went to my room. I came back out into the hallway looking at them and feeling disgusted by their attitude and condition. I never got that drunk, or that stupid, I knew better. I needed a drink. I went to the liquor store and bought a bottle of Irish Mist, and a bottle of Vodka. I went back to my room and opened the Vodka. Poured myself a drink and suddenly it dawned on me, NO I was just like them! No different!
I decided right then I was going to quite. I poured the drink out and went to bed. During the night DTs set in. That weekend was the most horrible time of my life. I hallucinated, I cried, I threw up, I pulled my hair out in big clumps. BUT I survived. My body was so racked with pain, I had trouble holding food down for the first week. It was two weeks before the shakes quite. I beat it. I still have that bottle of Irish Mist unopened, it's sitting on the counter in the kitchen now, along with several bottles of rum, Beam, and assorted blends. Most have been sitting there for 15 to 20 years. That bottle of Irish Mist reminds me of what I went through and that I will never go there again. Oh I still have a drink every now and then. I drink about one or two glasses of wine a month with meals when visiting friends. I like a little Beam in my egg nog around Christmas. Or when we go dancing I'll have a drink when we get to the club. But never more than two Rum and Cokes. Then I switch to straight Coke. I no longer have the urge to drink like I did back then. It's now just a social thing, that I can take or leave. The craving is gone.
SMOKING
I started smoking when I was in basic training. I smoked more after basic, and lived with some pretty heavy smokers. The fellows in the dorm smoked constantly back in the late 60s. I smoked sometimes three packs a day. I did not care what I smoked either, as long as I was smoking. At that time I also was drinking. I had a drink in my hand and a cigarette in my mouth constantly. My first wife also was a smoker. One day while working outside in the rain, I really got desperate. I had to be working outside and I could not keep a cigarette going due to the heavy rain. They kept getting wet and going out. My partner smoked a pipe, he simply turned the pipe upside down and continued to smoke. On break I went to the BX and got a pipe and tobacco. Once I started smoking the pipe I noticed that I was not smoking as much. And a lot of times the pipe was out but I was still getting the taste and flavor from drawing on the pipe. I did notice that in the mornings the stale taste of tobacco was not as bad as when I smoked the cigarettes. Then I spent the weekend with the Ex-wife and my son, she kissed me that morning and my gosh it was horrible. She reeked, and her mouth was so stale and sour. I decided right then I was going to quite. Even thou I pulled out my pipe and lite up, just to get rid of the taste in my mouth. On the way back to Anchorage later that day I threw the pipe and tobacco out the window and have not lite up since. I had quite drinking so I knew I could quite smoking. The craving was there, but I determined that I was not going to give in. It's been 22 years now, and sometimes I get the craving to pick up a pipe, I have many sitting in curio cabinets that are collectors items. But then I think about kissing the EX and the craving for tobacco is gone.
Any addiction can be beat, it just takes determination. Therein lies the problem, most addicts don't want to quite.
