Thank your for that entire first paragraph, and I hope every reader pays strict attention to every word. In my not very humble opinion, I agree whole heartedly with your beliefs and desires.
For the 44, get a 280 gr WFN and load it to 1200 fps. You'll never look back and the gun will last forever. (Almost) Loaded heavy, which would be loads over 1400 fps, recoil will be bothersome and the gun will shake apart quite rapidly, but the pressure will not hurt it, if one wants to use a a thousand or so stout loads, with the same bullet, in the guns lifetime.
If recoil is a bit to stiff with the 280 gr, go down to 260 gr, at the same velocity, which will give a noticably louder report and lesser recoil, but you won't see any difference on your largest target, four legged hogs, and definetely not on two legged hogs either. If you ponder that last a minute or two, along with the reasons for having to defend ones self from them, the discription is near perfect as one can get without adding profanity, which doesn't really help the discription but only vents ones feelings a bit better.
I'd rather see her with a 44 mag and the above 1200 fps load, or even with a 240 gr at 1200 fps in the gun she carries. But my wife carries a little 44 special loaded with the 280 gr WFN at 1100 fps. That load because I loaded a lot of them quite a few years ago. The little gun instead of a magnum, because she won't carry a heavier gun.-- I told her to never shoot it with that load unless she was in danger. She did once though, and told be her arm and ears ached for a couple days. I know she won't feel the recoil, nor lose her grip on the gun, and will wish the thing were banging twice as loud if she ever gets into a tight where she really needs defense. The instructions I gave her, if she ever needs to use it on a two legged hog are. Shoot till the hammer hits an empty primer, then, if in her car, leave the area immediately with pedal to the metal, or come close as she can to that if on foot.
