Author Topic: Caution: Humor, How Business is Done in Illinois  (Read 978 times)

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Offline S.B.

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Caution: Humor, How Business is Done in Illinois
« on: December 29, 2008, 01:40:28 AM »
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Mansion in Springfield.
 
One from Springfield, another from Petersburg, and the third from Chicago.
 
They go with an official from the Governor's staff to examine the fence.
 
The Springfield contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials,$400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'
 
The Petersburg contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, 'I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'
 
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the Governor's young staff member and whispers, '$2,700'
 
The inexperienced idiot, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'
 
The Chicago contractor whispers back, '$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the dumb ass from Petersburg to fix the fence.'
 
'Done!' replies the youngster!
 
And that, my friends, is how business is done in Illinois!!!
 

 
 
"The Original Point and Click Interface was a Smith & Wesson."
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Offline JBlk

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Re: Caution: Humor, How Business is Done in Illinois
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2008, 01:51:15 AM »
I think that you have described our process in Illinois with the exception of the cost quoted by the Chicago contractor.He probably would of said five thousand to cover the other politicans that you failed to mention.

Offline d_hiker

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Re: Caution: Humor, How Business is Done in Illinois
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2008, 05:28:18 AM »
Not so far fetched.  I bid on a state job once and lost it to a woman owned business (who had a higher bid but she got points for being woman owned), who in turned tried to hire me as a subcontractor to do the work for the project.  She didn't like my revised numbers to work for her.  So I didn't.
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Offline Ranger J

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Re: Caution: Humor, How Business is Done in Illinois
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2008, 07:53:55 AM »
A number of years ago, when I lived in Illinois, I read that in a study that it cost more to build a mile of road in Illinois than any other state in the nation.

RJ

Offline S.B.

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Re: Caution: Humor, How Business is Done in Illinois
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2009, 03:52:17 AM »
Ranger J, what year would that be? I was a construction(grade/layout man) laborer from 1974-April 2008? I heard around 1975, each mile of I55 was costing tax payers $1,000,000? And they were mostly built by out of state contractors(in my locals area, anyway). I witnessed an over pass with access to a smaller town on I39 held up for one year, because of one farmer(who lived on this A-3 road) who wanted to be able to drive his tractor to town for coffee, in the mornings.
I know that no two bridges, in Illinois, are the same? I could go on and on.
Money is no object for politicians in Illinois, except when they're waiting for it to come their way!
"The Original Point and Click Interface was a Smith & Wesson."
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Offline BBF

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Re: Caution: Humor, How Business is Done in Illinois
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2009, 06:28:17 AM »
Come on Guys, the Land of Lincoln works as a Free Enterprise system. ;D
What is the point of Life if you can't have fun.

Offline S.B.

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Re: Caution: Humor, How Business is Done in Illinois
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2009, 07:36:26 AM »
So does all of the U.S.A. but, not like Illinois does? With such views, you must be a lawyer from Kalifornia, HEHEHE?
Steve
"The Original Point and Click Interface was a Smith & Wesson."
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Offline JBlk

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Re: Caution: Humor, How Business is Done in Illinois
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2009, 04:39:51 AM »
I had a neighbor who worked for some minority contractors who had won state contracts.He asked his boss how he determined how to figure out how much to bid.The boss replied that they told them what to bid.Now I ask you, how much fairer can you get than that?

Offline BBF

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Re: Caution: Humor, How Business is Done in Illinois
« Reply #8 on: January 11, 2009, 08:41:10 AM »
 ;D

S.B : Not even close I am 4 hours ahead of Kalifornia.
What is the point of Life if you can't have fun.