Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program.
"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.
"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.
"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Shut up."
If you spend that money at WalMart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer, it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile, and Guatemala.
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs, it will go to India
If you purchase heroin, it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, buying lottery tickets, gambling at the dog track, going to baseball games or spending it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY) or tattoos because these businesses are still in the US.
