Well,
I would say part of the issue is that recoil is perception. What seems like heavy recoil to one shooter would not be troubling to another shooter. It has nothing to do with how "manly" you are or anything. No intent meant here to insult anyone.
That being said, I have shot those "standard" Colt loads out of a pair of 5 1/2" Colt clones for years. 250 gr bullets over a heavy charge of compressed blackpowder, making 900-950 fps. Out of a 5 1/2" lightweight revolver. I do not have a 10" octagon barrel for my Contender frame. However, my Contender frame, with just the pistol grip on it, weighs about as much as my entire Colt clone SAA revolver with the 5 1/2" barrel, and that's before you add the weight of the 10" bbl to the Contender. Also, the 10" barrel will dampen recoil more so than a 5 1/2" bbl, all things being equal.
Part of the "brutal" recoil you are experiencing may be due to the powder you are burning. Blue Dot is a fairly fast burning powder, which causes the pressure to come on more quickly than say a powder like H110, or AA#9. So looking at the recoil pulse, over time, you get a "quicker" recoil, than say a slower powder would. I have never fired Blue Dot out of 45 Colt loads personally, not that it's not a safe powder or anything, I just haven't used it.
If you come to the range with me, I'll let you rip off a few full power 45-70 loads with 400 gr bullets out of my 14" Contender barrel. Your Colt barrel will seem somewhat tamer after that!
Streak,
I will dig up my recipe and PM you with it. This is NOT an over pressure round, or "off the charts" or anything. This load is taken directly from a published reloading manual, which I will cite the reference to the data in my PM. The fired casings extract just fine from my Anaconda, my buddy's Ruger, and my Contender barrel. This is a safe load, in a modern revolver design like a Ruger, S&W, or Colt Anaconda. It's also a safe load in a Contender. It is NOT safe for a SAA Colt or Colt clone revolver. The new and old SAA Colts (and clones) are NOT rated for modern pressures. If you have both types of 45 Colt guns (like I do), please be extra diligent to keep your ammo separated. I would never shoot one of these loads through my Colt clones. The choice of bullet makes it pretty obvious for me to tell visually which load I'm looking at. The 300-328 gr cast bullets are much different looking than the "normal" 250 gr cast bullets. I don't load the modern pressure loads with the 250 gr bullets to keep it easy to tell the difference.