I shoot my Uberti-made Remington with 30 grs. of Goex FFFG, greased felt wad, and.454 inch ball. It's not a maximum load, but I don't need that to put holes in paper and cans.
For my Pietta-made 1860 Colt, I use 25 grains for plinking, and 30 grs. is a maximum load.
I load my wads separately, and firmly, on the powder before I seat the balls. This ensures a more consistent feel to the wad, and to the ball that follows.
I don't use .451 inch balls. Gave up on them years ago. I use .454 inch balls because I've found them slightly more accurate. And it's easier if I standardize at .454 for all my .44s. I even use .457 inch in them, without a problem.
Yeah, it's a little more effort to seat the ball but not much. Not enough to strain the rammer, to be sure, especially if you seat the wad separately so you're not trying to ram the wad and ball in one action.
I believe in using balls larger than normally recommended. The slightly larger ball, when seated, creates a wider ring around the ball. This holds the ball in the chamber during recoil, and gives a wider bearing band for the rifling to grip, often enhancing accuracy.