Divorce Agreement

[norman]

DIVORCE AGREEMENT
 

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
 
American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists
and Obama supporters, et al:
 

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
 

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure   
our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can 
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
 

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns 
and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
 
You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
 

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot
Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ...

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are
under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag. 

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheehan, Barbara Streisand, &
Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S.  And we won't have to press 1 for English.
 
 
 
 

[30-30man]

I wish SC would succeed again without a war. We are going to lose waht little freedoms we had left. This country has taken a road I can't bear to travel anymore.

[m-g Willy]

Where they drawing the line at?
I want to be sure to be on the RIGHT side!

[bljc27]

he's got my vote!!!

[magooch]

Screw all of that, I'm not giving anything up to any stinking liberals.  If they don't like this country--let um leave.  If they want to stick around, then let um have it with both barrels--figuratively, or literally, whichever does the trick.

Outside of a few poopulation centers, this country is primarily conservative and even if you just take a show of hands, conservatives and independants are still by far the majority over the pathetic pablum puking liberals.

People had better wake up to the fact that "liberal" in the sense of what a persons philosophy is, is really just a slightly more polite word for communist.  That doesn't mean that there aren't different flavors of conservatives and independents, but liberals only come in one flavor and it is bitter, envious and anti-American.

[powderman]

MAGOOCH. YEP. Good post. POWDERMAN. 

[JBlk]

I concur with Magooch.

[Sourdough]

Understand our Hockey Mom is being courted by the Alaska Independence Party.  Don't think she will move that way, but we can dream.  Sure would make the rest of the country sit up and notice.

[Heavy C]

I'm not surprised Sourdough.  I've been telling my friends that she will soon dump the Republican party and rightly so.  Lord knows they threw her under the bus enough times.

She just might be the spark that a truly viable 3rd party option needs to get going.  Watch and see.

BTW, I love the original post.  However, I agree with Magooch in that we shouldn't give up any land.  All those weirdo's can head to Europe like they threatened to do when Bush was elected.  I say, "beat it, pin heads!".

[slim rem 7]

 dang i didn t know there was a law school that allowed one of that line of thinking to attend..
 of course my knowledge of that world ,,will nicely fit under a coke cap.. slim

[BBF]

 This from a Law Student!!   

It boggles my mind