A big part of the problem in such areas as Afghanistan and even Iraq and others is that our perceptions of a country does not match the perceptions of the folks who live there. They have no interest in or even understanding of a country and loyalty to such. They are muzlims and they are tribal misfits in a modern society. They are throw backs to the middle ages.
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Our problem are the super rich elites who are controlling our politicians and tearing America apart at the seams.
Gray Beard's assesment of the situation is dead on. Worked for many years in that part of the world trying to train Saudi and other troops. You cannot train folks who cannot read their names in neon lights; over 80 percent of Saudi troops are illiterate. Folks in a tribal society have absolutely no concept of a united country, much less a democracy where people actually elect their leaders. They never think past family and tribe. Infrequently, tribal coalitions are put together but they soon start to bicker and fight and the coalition dissolves with bitterness on all sides.
It does not matter if US troops stay in Iraq and Afghanistan for 100 years. Both country's will dissolve into total civil war as soon as US troops leave. There are three million Iraqi Sunnis in exile waiting for US troops to leave so they can come back to Iraq and wreak havoc, supported by Saudi Arabia.
After 8 years of US troops dying and getting wounded, all the Karzai government has to show for it is total control of one province. The Taliban operate at will in all the other Afghan provinces.
BTW: In 2004 Karzai established sharia law in Afghanistan. As soon as the scumbag did that the US should have pulled out lock, stock and barrel. I know a lot of troops who are serving in Afghanistan and I am concerned about them. They are pawns in a game being run by the Wall St. fat cats.
In the end we will not win this one.