Going through a similar situation with my wife, except she doesn't have anywhere near the experience with firearms as yours. Outstanding on your part. Reading some of the post I like the idea of an XD because of the grip safety, (purse carry w/o a holster.) I also like the idea of stopping at a gun shop and having her try out many different guns. You'd be suprised what she may like. For my wife I was thinking about a SS revolver, maybe the older wooden S&W grips (smaller than most of the current pach or hogue grips.) SS so the creep would now what he's getting into and maybe turn tail, also a maintenance issue. I did find that woman have more trouble with lighter guns, (airweight and below,) because of the trigger pull and moving the gun off target, something to do with hand/wrist strength I believe. Good luck and let us know what she gets.