Some thoughts about my Father

[UtahMike]

Hunting and Fishing, the whole outdoors were a great influence in my life and I would like to take a second and Thanks my Dad who past away a couple of days ago, I hope it's all right.

What I remember about DadÂ… How and where do I start?    IÂ’m not very good at this butÂ… In no particular orderÂ… here goesÂ…

 No person ever had a bad word about dad, he was known as a “Gentleman” especially in business.  Strangers, to me, but people who knew dad would tell me what a gentlemen he was.  This happened time after time over the years, with businessmen and friends alike.  ItÂ’s funny, but IÂ’ve never heard that expression about anyone else before.  Mr. Bob Hodgson, one of dadÂ’s friends in the business world, an Architect and hunting buddy took me aside one day while we were hunting deer, up near the Bear River Service station on the Utah, Wyoming boarder and said that he had never meet a Finer Gentleman in his life and that I should be very proud of Dad.  I didnÂ’t quite understand then, I do now.

His sense of humor was wonderful.  He could tell a “Story”, tell a joke, or recite a poem from beginning to end without missing a word.  Limericks were a favorite of his, some off color, some not, but all were told without missing a beat.  

I remember the time he spent teaching me how to fish and hunt.  Later both fishing and hunting became a large part of my life.  I remember his patience when I missed an animal or bird when we were hunting.   He was the best shot with both a rifle and shotgun I ever knew. He told me that when he was growing up, they were too poor to miss, bullets were expensive.   He was never able to fish when we went fishing or boating, when I watched him, he never had a minute to himself, he was always baiting a hook, driving the boat, using the net, fixing a sandwich or getting a drink for someone, changing gas tanks, changing lures, etc.  It couldnÂ’t have been much fun, except that he loved doing it for us.  IÂ’m a little older than my sisters and I remember camping in a tent, in the” Primitive country” in Idaho, along a fork of the Salmon River.  How easy it all seemed to him, I guess when I think back, thatÂ’s the way he was raised, with a bed roll, grub box, tarp and horses and little else.

I remember the time he took from his busy business life to help me.  Once, we built a kayak with the Explorer Scouts.  Canvas over a wood frame, it was a big job.  I remember we didnÂ’t put the correct canvas cloth over the wood the first time.  It was too soft and stretched too much, and we put the wrong paint on it.  The paint was Marine paint, you would think that is what it was for, but alas it was very brittle, when you pushed on it, the canvas would stretch and the paint would crack in little concentric circles outward from where your finger pushed on the canvas.  Well, it was quite a job tearing the canvas off and doing it the right way, we both learned that reading the directions was probably a good idea.   Dad, again found the time to come with us  on a trip to Yellowstone with the boats. By the end of the trip, there wasnÂ’t anyone that wasnÂ’t glad that dad had come and brought his boat to haul food and dry clothes.   That kayak went down the Colorado, Green, and Bear rivers, as well as countless lakes and reservoirs, dad built most of it, and I got the benefit.

Dad bought himself a “Blazer”, a two wheel off road motorcycle.  He almost got to ride it once, but only after I had it torn up, riding it in the field behind our home and nearly worn it out.  I broke it and myself fairly often.  It didnÂ’t matter, it was the best thing I can imagine having.  Again, dad took time off work to go on a trip with the “Scouts”.  Dad and several other adults arranged to take 40+ kids over 110 miles of southern Utah desert on “Tote Goats”.  I could fill a book with the stories about what happened (lost kids, broken machines, cold and hungry kids) on that trip to everyone except Dad and me.  

What do I remember about Dad?   Those were but a few of the times dad was there.  Flaming Gorge, Lake Powell, Yellowstone, the Bookcliffs, the Canadian Rockies, the list of places Dad took us goes on and on.

It was too many years after the kayak trip that, Dad got really “dumb”.  He didnÂ’t know a thing.  DidnÂ’t understand meÂ…..  Even during those times I knew he was there.  And then he got really smart again, donÂ’t know how it happenedÂ…

Dad, and Mom have given me more support, both monetary help and with advice, direction and love than any child has a right too.  No child and I mean this; No Child could ever want or deserve parents that have given as much as both of them have given me.  Nothing I could do could ever hope to re-pay them for their support over my lifetime.  I know for a fact that Dad gave up a “Big” promotion with Honeywell because it would have meant moving to the Mid-West, Chicago or, Minneapolis.   He wanted to raise his family here.

I remember Dad and myself sitting in a duck blind at his clubÂ….many times waiting for the birds to come over, talking about how life was, how the world was, how to cure the worlds problems, how he was glad he was able to share the club with me, how he wished his father could have been able to be there.  I think I will treasure those times, maybe most of allÂ…

I remember Dad being gone on business trips.  I remember a phone call when Dad got burned on a job in Idaho.  Dad having Cancer, and earlier losing his stomach to ulcers.

Yes, I remember Dad being mad at the things I did, and the things I didnÂ’t do.  Not mowing the lawn, wrecking the car, not helping Mom, when she needed it.  Wandering off with my friends before the work was done.  His famous “quit farting around” saying, when he thought I wasnÂ’t doing something fast enough.

I remember the 2 beautiful homes I was raised in.  I remember that Dad made it possible to live better than most of the worlds population..

I remember that my Father and Mother are still married after nearly 60 yrs.  I remember dadÂ’s birthday, itÂ’s also my sonÂ’s birthday.  It was quiet a joy to be able to call dad up and wish him a happy birthday and tell him his grandson had been born.

I remember that Dad was able to take Mom and travel nearly around the world after he retired.

I remember that Dad became my best friend, Yes, I rememberÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…..

 2005

[tcr44]

I lost Dad 10 years ago when I was 43

[volshooter]

I lost my Dad/best friend 3 years ago Oct 8. Dad took me hunting and fishing when I was still in diapers. We continued that untill he got sick. While we didn't live among the upper class, dad was a medic in the Army for 20+ years, thus we enjoyed hunting/fishing in many places around the world. When I lost Dad I didn't have the heart to hunt or fish for two years. This season I am ready to rejoin the boys. Every day I miss my Dad.

Rick

[Captain Emo]

My dad goes in for some serious surgery tomorrow.  Your written reflections have been very sobering. 

While my father and I never shared the outdoors, we have had one thing in common - the M1 Garand.  I heard about how great the Garand was from as far back as I can remember. 

I bought him one a few years ago. I hand  finished a new stock and handguards for it for father's day.   Between his cataract surgery, prostate problems and now a perforated colon, I hope I get to see him shoot it. 

[Mike in Virginia]

I cry to read this thread, remembering my dad.  He was only 54 when he died, but before, he taught me the ways of the wilds, the ways to show respect, the way to Jesus, and the way to hold a family together. He was a state trooper, a big man with a big heart, but with discipline meeted out to his sons and to the public with strength and compassion.  Now, when I'm 62, I still ask myself when confronting a trying situation, "What would Daddy do?"  Always, I had my answer and acted accordingly. I followed his footprints into the VA State Police, became a trooper, and always tried to be the man he was. Of course, I didn't make it. I will never own his strength, but I did my best. I used my lesser strength in dangerous times, and I used compassion toward victims and perps alike.  Now, retired and aging, I still encounter situations when decisions are difficult, but doing what my father did, is always the right thing.  Looking back, I've no regrets about how I treated others.

[jamesrus]

My dad is still with us. I wish, i wish.........i wish he could have been the Dad i have read about in these stories. Oh he took me hunting and fishing, but we have never been able to relate to each other in as close of a way as i would like. I have tried, oh how i have tried. But it always seems like what i do is never good enough, never fast enough, never smart enough to suit him. Going through the motions hasnt been enough for me. But as he ages i believe i see some mellowing in there somewhere, but he is too proud to let it seep through for long. I have a sadness that i cannot get past, i wish he could see this, i wish i could tell him this. He has always put being a Mason, being a musician, being a friend to others over being a friend to me. I just want my dad to be my dad, and tell me just once......just once...that he i proud of me for who i am.

[Sweetwater]

These are some "hard to read posts". No Dad is perfect, some more than others. My Dad was my best pal. I was always with him doing his thing. I just wanted to be with Dad. Somewhere around 35, Dad reintroduced me to Jesus and I relearned that my Dad is my dad and my Father is God. I've tried to teach that to my son who at 20 has decided to be a Dad. He knows I'm his Dad and that his Father is God. Getting back to my Dad - he was perfect, until that somewhere around 35 time. I had spent my whole life trying to live up to expectations that he never made for me, they were all self-imposed, based on my perception of him and what he would expect from me. Well, I was a dismal failure, and that was when all the cards got put on the table. I also realized that he had never been to a school concert I was in, or a ballgame I was playing in - we were together when we did "his stuff". I figured that was like "Daddy's priviledge" or something. I knew he was busy earning a living, BUT being over 60 myself, I can see where he could have done a bunch better. My son's mom left me when he was 2 and I didn't see much of him or his older sisters until they got up into high school. My son spent every summer with me through high school and the next two Christmas's (out of his own pocket!) - we have both tried very hard to make up for lost time, which can't be done, but we shared our lives with him until it hurt and we were all crying. He learned a lot of why Dad is the way he is, and what he was told is not necessarily the way it was. He also learned who Jesus is and that last summer he was here, he accepted Christ as his savior and requested to be baptized. I was very proud to baptize him (Pastor asked how often I had done that as it sounded like I knew what I was doing). Following Jesus is the easiest and the hardest thing that I do on a daily basis. My kids have witnessed Christ in me these last 18 years since we divorced - and the difference in our home and their mother's home. I don't intend to be perfect, just the best that I can be, for my kids and their kids. My Dad is coming up on 83 and refuses to live where I can earn a living, which I will have to do as long as I draw breath. I will probably be just as stubborn, as I have chosen a life 1000 miles from where the kids live. And, like was posted by Mike in Virginia, I often ponder, "what would Daddy do?" and usually follow with "what would Jesus do?"

[Oldshooter]

Wheeeeew! Some heart felt posts here fellas! I must have something in my eye! I lost my Dad in 99, We were business partners, Never really were as close as I wish we cudda been, but we were both hard headed. I know he loved me and I him but, well you know! I miss him a bunch



UtahMike, very nice read about your Dad, your post shows his love and integrity. My sincere condolences for your loss, you will miss him but because of him you will be fine!

jamesrus, pardner, alls I can say is copy that and give it to him and sit down and talk to him it aint too late yet!

Sweetwater, I dont know if you remember it but you consoled me a while back when I was grieving the loss of my Mom, I wont for get it. It is obvious you walk with Jesus. God Bless you. I am a work in Progress.


All of you guys pay great homage to your Fathers, Its a good thing to love and remember them. All of you that still have them make a special effort to tell em that you care and love them now!

[squirrellluck]

My daddy taught me to hunt and fish,to work hard and about honor and family. But we were never close until my mother left and broke his heart. Never told me he was proud of me until I was grown and gone. Somrthing happened through the years and now we are very close friends. Now I fear nothing in the world except my Lord but the thought of losing my father one day terrifies me more than I can say.

[williamlayton]

Too all of you guys who have a dad--take time too tell him you love him.
I never knew my father--really hard for me to say dad--he died in WWII.
I know all of my childhood friends fathers and they were substitute but didn't quite fit the bill and I could never lay a claim to any.
It taught me a lesson though. Never let any day pass being mad at your children.
I wish you to stop right now and call your father andjust say thanks dad, I love you. It will also mess with his mind.
Blessings