Lost another Marine today ...

[teamnelson]

Young man took his own life this weekend ... no warnings or signs, he'd planned it possibly for months, to all the world seemed fine and happy, to his friends & family. Never had heard of helium asphyxiation before. Its been a long 24 hours; I think I've had a one on one with every Marine in his company.  This isn't the first one of mine to make that choice. About a half dozen in the last 4 years were successful (none of them combat vets), twice that made a serious go at it, 10 times that talked about it. Now I've lost a bunch more to combat, and a few more to accidents. That's easier to accept somehow.

While suicide just never makes sense to me, if you'll allow me to vent a moment, I'm tired of trying to answer that question for everyone else. Our culture is fascinated by death, we glorify it, revel it, even make it sexy or funny. Suicide is becoming like a fad in a sick & twisted way. And then we wonder why someone would choose that option? I sincerely am concerned about the future of our society.

[Oldshooter]

Is it more prevalent now than say 30 years ago or even 50 years ago. Could it be the fact that our wars these days have no real goals and no end unless "we" pull out.

My condolences for your loss TN, We all loose a little bit when that happens.

[The Hermit]

TN, I feel your sense of loss. You already know a little about my background. One of the foster boys that Donna and I took in, called one night several years after he went out on his own. He wanted to end it, but a miracle happened. I stood in the door of the woods cabin, the only place that I get a cell signal, and talked to gary for over an hour, before help arrived. No loss of signal, no dead battery. St Jude did me another favor. Lesson learned: Please don't give up the work you are doing. You probably have saved a few and not even realized it. Nobody has a satisfactory answer as to why.
Gary is still dealing with issues but now has a son and daughter and is happier than he has ever been.
Bless you, buddy.

    The Hermit

[powderman]

TN. I've lost more than several friends to suicide, including a cousin. Prayer sent for you and the soldiers family. I'm sorry for your loss. You may be asking yourself, why didn't I see this coming?? It was not meant for you to know. I lost 2 friends within a year. One I learned about reading the paper in the obits, we'd been gone for 5 days. In that 5 days Harold killed himself and was buried by the time I found out. More prayer coming friend. Charlie. 

[Dee]

TN, I have worked as many as 3 suicides in one day in a county with about 30,000 total population, and that was back in the early eighties. They weren't necessarily poor, or drug addicts, they just were weak and gave up. Suicide is nothing new, and percentage wise it probably is about the same as it's always been in some jobs. Police used to be the leading victims, but I don't know if that's changed.
It leaves the people working the scene with an empty, almost hopeless feeling, that takes a while to go away. Even after all these years I can think about one, shut my eyes and see their faces, if there was one left to see.
Our youth have been desensitised to death with computer games I think, and most youngsters don't and haven't had in years, a real sense of mortality. Most TV shows are about rape, murder, sex, and homosexuality. Garbage in, garbage out.
Our youth, and most adults have seen death on TV, and in Funeral Homes after it has been beautified. To see it in reality is quite another story and a shock to most.
In your case, you have one side saying these wars are a good thing, and the other saying shame on you. I believe we need to as a nation pull in our "nation building" conquering tentacles, and mind our own business for a while. To say the the common solider is getting a confusing host of MIXED SIGNALS, is an understatement. The middle east has been killing each other for almost 7,000 years. Only Christ will straighten it out over there.jmo

[slim rem 7]

im for it dee.. lets get the heck out of other countries an try to staiten this country out..
 even that can t be done with out god blessing our efforts.. his will be done.. his grace is sufficient.. slim

[Mnswede]

TN, I don't think there is ever going to be a easy answer for suicide.  As a retired Marine and working in other occupations that have a high chance of suicidal action, I don't have the answers.  For me the hardest was trying to answer the questions of those left behind.  My prayers for you and your Marines.

[burntmuch]

TN I agee with all thats been said. You just have to think of the ones you,ve helped & not even knowing it. Its impossible to understand it. I just went thru it 6 mths or so myself , with a young man who was once my student. Doesnt make any sense. Just keep on keeping on my friend. Good luck

[jager]

   I too have dealt with a lot of suicides, mostly when I worked for a hospital. A majority of the time, I felt worse for the families that were left behind than the person who took their own life.  Their "final deed" left their friends and relatives with a "lasting" memory of that person that overshadowed all other good memories for a long time. It also left a guilt by any that knew them because it has, some how, become an accepted notion that we should be able to recognize the "tell-tell" signs of suicide and "cure" them of their "Wrong headed" thinking. I can assure you that if a person is intent on committing suicide, the last thing they will do is tell you they are going to go through with the act.  They do not you want you to prevent it. Only a person who wants your help will tell you or "hint" they are contemplating taking their life, then you have a chance to help them get their "head on straight". 
   TN, I am also a retired Marine (even stationed on your island once) and I know how dedicated members of your Chaplain Corps are to all our young people in uniform.  The comfort you have given to countless families who must suffer through long terms of separation, financial hardships, overseas assignments, and countless moves far outweigh those you have been unable to reach for whatever reason.  God is the "arbitrator" in these matters and will sort out the details.  Just know for certain, the young man's decision was not your fault! My prayer for your strength and perseverance. Blessing, brother.

[SteveHawaii]

My heart goes out to you.  My respect and gratitude too.  Military and police chaplains go through a lot, and don't get much thanks or recognition for it either.  My brother-in-law is a police chaplain.  He's been through a lot.  Who ministers to him?  Not many.  Fortunately he loves what he does.

My nephew was recently discharged from the Marines after 2 years of a 5 year hitch because of his attempted suicides.  They sure didn't make it easy for him.  Apparently the medication he was taking for asthma was giving him suicidal thoughts.  He actually tried a couple of times but didn't succeed.  The military chaplain was a big help.  In times like those you need an advocate, and sometimes they're hard to come by.

God bless you for what you do.  Indeed you are the hand of God on earth.

[williamlayton]

TN
Been thinking about this.
I have a great deal of personal respect for you--personally-- and for your calling.
I know how much it hurts---too some degrees.
I also know that satan--the great liar--will use this to form a wedge/hedge/questioning about your abilities/your mistakes made.
Put on the whole armor of God to defend you against these attacks.
You are not responsible--for either preventing or stopping. God has a Will and a knowledge of all events and He makes choices we can neither fathom or understand.
Blessings to you and too your efforts--BUT GOD--takes the final verdict from you.
What is, is what is.
Lord, come quickly.
Blessings

[teamnelson]

Many thanks to all! It's been a long and thoughtful week. This morning were going to have a memorial service for his Company, and a few more. It was tough to write the pastoral reflection but Ive got something to go in with and a sovereign Lord, and the prayers of great friends - thanks y'all! You know your my group therapy, right?

[teamnelson]

And another one, this time KIA in Afghanistan.
http://thecsquare.blogspot.com/2010/03/sergeant-major-robert-j-cottle-4th-lar.html

SgtMajor Cottle's wife is a sailor with my command, and we made the CACO visit earlier. We brought her into my office, and a SgtMajor from KBay delivered the news. She is a brave woman. I had met her husband prior to his deployment; Rob was on island for the birth of their first child last Fall. Sadly, she joins a small and growing community of the families of our fallen. My faith in the American people is always confirmed when I see the love and concern they pour out for those families.

[Oldshooter]

I humbly offer my deepest and sincere condolences to that family and to the rest of "your"  military family as well TN.

You all will be included in my simple prayers to our Lord for His consideration. May we all find peace in His hands.