Author Topic: I think everyone should...  (Read 699 times)

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Offline Heather

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I think everyone should...
« on: September 23, 2010, 07:19:01 AM »
I think before a couple gets married they should be tasked with building their own house.  If after the house is built they still want to get married to each other, then they should be ok until death do they part!  I believe by doing this the divorce rate would fall drastically!  I have lived with a man for six years that I have just really gotten to know in the last 6 months.  ;)  The long days, the backbreaking labor, the sleepless nights, the pressure, the stress, and all the rest that goes along with building a house on a deadline has pushed both of us about to our breaking points.  Luckily for us we haven't broken down at the same time.  We seem to have been taking turns, when one is about to break the other is there to hold them up until the storm passes.  We have had many challenges in our relationship ranging from the usual put the cap back on the toothpaste to picking up our lives after a house fire destroyed almost everything, and THIS is the BIGGEST test we have faced yet.  While we are on our final weekend before we move into our new home, so keep us in your prayers please.

Heather
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Offline BBF

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2010, 08:42:02 AM »
So the birds have it right. Built a nest first before making eggs ;)
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Offline Old Fart

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2010, 09:17:31 AM »

Best wishes and congrats on the accomplishment.
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Offline powderman

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2010, 09:49:53 AM »
HEATHER. Right you are. I've been wondering about your progress and am thrilled that you are almost ready to move in. Congratulations to you all. Charlie.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Mr. Charles Glenn “Charlie” Nelson, age 73, of Payneville, KY passed away Thursday, October 14, 2021 at his residence. RIP Charlie, we'll will all miss you. GB

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Offline LONGTOM

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2010, 10:30:59 AM »
Heather, I hope and pray you both are as happy together as my wife and I have been for over 26 years of marrage and 8 years of dating.
We have never had so much as an argument.
Heck, we are still infatuated with each other!
Everyday is like the first day we started dating.
IMO, other than abuse, there is nothing that can break an unconditional love.
So many people are not willing to give a little or to give things a little time to work it's self out.
Just remember, it takes two to argue!
Congrads on the new house.
I am sure it won't be long before it becomes a home.


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Offline Graybeard

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2010, 11:17:16 AM »
And I thought she was gonna suggest everyone show up to help Matt finish up before the deadline to leave current housing.


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Offline powderman

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2010, 11:33:08 AM »
And I thought she was gonna suggest everyone show up to help Matt finish up before the deadline to leave current housing.



Well  shucks Bill they can just move in with you and the Mrs if they're a month or 2 late. POWDERMAN.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Mr. Charles Glenn “Charlie” Nelson, age 73, of Payneville, KY passed away Thursday, October 14, 2021 at his residence. RIP Charlie, we'll will all miss you. GB

Only half the people leave an abortion clinic alive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAiOEV0v2RM
What part of ILLEGAL is so hard to understand???
I learned everything about islam I need to know on 9-11-01.
http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDqmy1cSqgo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_u9kieqGppE&feature=related
http://www.illinois.gov/gov/contactthegovernor.cfm

Offline Squib

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2010, 02:03:11 PM »
build a house, that's expensive. 

Offline rockbilly

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2010, 11:54:45 PM »
Been there, done that twice and we survived.  After 51 years of marriage she wants to do it again.  As we have grown older we find the current house/yard a burden because of the work necessary to keep it up, a smaller place with little or acreage to maintain would be better for both of us……………..at 71 I don’t think I am ready to undertake building another house, think I can convince her to just move into the 5th wheel. so when the grass needs cutting I can move to another RV park?

Offline Glanceblamm

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #9 on: September 24, 2010, 02:30:27 AM »
Quote
We have had many challenges in our relationship ranging from the usual put the cap back on the toothpaste

Heather, the current challenge for the Wife & I is when I hang my dirty shirt on the towel rack. I figure that we will get around this as we are still going after 32 years.

Offline kynardsj

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #10 on: September 24, 2010, 04:01:07 AM »
Congrats on the new home and making it thru building it. My wife and I rented the first year of our marrage then bought a fixer upper. This fixer upper was built in 1948 and should have been bull dozed but it had good bones and that's what we started with. There was another building on the property so I made it into a studio apartment to live in while we did most of the work on the house ourselves. Three and a half years later with a lot of blood, sweat, tears and almost getting divorced a number of times we now live in what we call the big house. It's nothing fancy but a nice home in the country. I have in the past built a number of hunting cabins from the ground up and enjoy a new build but I will never, ever, ever remodel an old house again. New wood and a new build is fun to me but ripping out rotted stuff and replacing it ain't gonna happen again. Buy the way, my wife just found another property that she wants us to buy and remodel. Bigger and right on the lake. I told her not just no but HE** NO !! 
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Offline magooch

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #11 on: September 24, 2010, 04:18:50 AM »
Heather, the two of you deserve much credit for your accomplishment.  It's more than a lot have done, but I will say that your trials are not done by a long ways.  You've still got youngens to raise and building a house is a breeze by comparison.  I did both and if I had to do it again, I'd choose building another house, or two.
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Offline Heather

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #12 on: September 24, 2010, 07:38:26 AM »
And I thought she was gonna suggest everyone show up to help Matt finish up before the deadline to leave current housing.

Hey now that's not a bad idea!

Heather
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Offline Sourdough

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #13 on: September 24, 2010, 08:11:15 AM »
While doing the building is in itself a job, it's the other things life throws in the way that makes a mess of any project.  The wife and I bought our 1400 sq ft home in 1985.  At the time it was perfect.  We had no furniture and few possessions.  I drove a Jeep, she drove a Honda, the garage seemed huge.  When sky came along things changed and the house seemed to have gotten smaller.  As the years have gone by every year it got smaller.  The last five years has been almost intollerable, since we are fighting over who uses the two stalls in the garage, that only fits cars and small trucks.  My big truck always out in the cold, it won't fir in the garage.  My small truck (S-10) only if I get home first.  My reloading room became a play room.  Today it is a Hobby room, still no room for my reloading equipment. 

Every time I start a project around the house it seems both of them do more to get in the way than help.  Things that I could do in someone elses home in a few hours in the past, now takes days in our own home.  Everytime I mention putting an addition on the wife says "No we don't need it".  Now I realize she is right, Sky will be leaving after two more winters, along with his car, guns, clothes, Hockey gear, bikes, Snow Machine, 4-wheeler, furniture, Computer, X-Box, Hobby Benches, and tools
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Offline buck460XVR

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #14 on: September 24, 2010, 08:34:55 AM »
  Don't worry Heather, I've been building homes for almost 40 years and have yet to see the construction of one directly lead to a divorce. I've seen relationships not last long after folks moved in, but it wasn't because of the house. ;)

   Sorry to hear things have been hectic. They really never need to be. Most folks put the rush on when a home is in the final stages and the priority should be for the finish carpenters to take their time and do a good job, but that is not usually the case. Most of the time, folks take their time early on during the rough in and don't get excited when the subs don't show or they want to make changes. The deadline is far off and they see no reason to get pushy, but this is the time to get ahead, not go behind. Next thing you know, the closing date is only a month away and the flooring guys haven't even started. This is when one finds out if they have a good general or not.....or this is when folks realize they should have a general. A good general contractor keeps the ball rolling and keeps the pressure and stress off the customer. A good general can see future problems far enough in advance to avoid them. If you have been stressed during this whole event, I assume your general was not the best or you didn't have one. Either way, don't worry....houses always get finished and a year or so  down the road all the hassles and the crying has been forgotten and replaced by cherished memories made in the new home. 
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Offline Heather

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2010, 09:10:55 AM »
Buck, we don't have any workers.  Matt and I along with our children and the occasional help from a family member are building the house.

Heather
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A closed mind is often closed to the truth!

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and loose both...Ben Franklin

Offline Old Syko

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #16 on: September 24, 2010, 09:38:58 AM »
Buck, we don't have any workers.  Matt and I along with our children and the occasional help from a family member are building the house.

Heather

Why do so many people not understand this?  Too often when people say they are building a house, what they really mean is that they are only footing the bill.  It's a whole different animal when it's only you, your spouse and maybe the occasional immediate family member that are actually driving the nails.

When we were building our house, and yes we actually built it!  I don't remember any real arguments.  I was too busy to waste time that way as I too had a deadline.  The wife was willing to admit she knew nothing about the process but was willing to do anything asked of her.  She helped shovel gravel in the beginning and grouted every inch of tile, all by herself I might add in the end.  What she did mostly was support my efforts any way possible.  That was 9 years ago and we still disagree on the same kind of things we did before and we're still here.  Disagreements in dealing with raising the kids was hundreds of times more stressful than building the house, that was easy.  The kids on the other hand....     ::) ::) ::) 

 Good luck Heather and Matt.  In the not so distant future it will seem to have been much easier.  Now quit wasting time and get back to work!   :D

Offline kynardsj

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2010, 05:51:57 PM »
Heather, I totally understand. I hired out having the roof re-shingled, the wiring totally replaced and the fuse box replaced with a larger breaker box and then had central heat and air put where it had never been any. We did everything else. You'll have a great sense of accomplishment when you finish it. Congrats again.
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Offline mechanic

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Re: I think everyone should...
« Reply #18 on: September 24, 2010, 06:02:33 PM »
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  Tell that to Matt when he's burning the midnight oil....... :D

Congrats on the new place.  Hope it is the place of many happy memories and the place where your grandchildren will come some day...

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