dad sick again

[GRIMJIM]

My dad has emphysema and has been on oxygen for a few years now. He's been in and out of the hospital a lot lately and I don't know how much longer he'll be around. He won't stop smoking even though he's set himself on fire three times. Refuses any kind of therapy and won't do anything to help himself get better, After getting out last Sunday he told me he doesn't even remember being in the hospital except for the emergency room. His mind is starting to go, he's physically shot from inactivity mostly. We were kind of prepared for this but it's still pretty rough, especially on my mom. He went back in today and one of these times he won't be getting back out.

I know a lot of you guys are older than me and a lot have had their parents pass so you know what I'm going through. It's hard to see the person that taught you to be the man you are today wither away like this.

I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

[Old Fart]

Sorry to hear this. It is tough.
I'll keep a good thought for you guys.

[MGMorden]

Sorry to hear that man.  My parents are still with me but having watched my grandparents (who literally lived less than a quarter mile from me my whole life) go through much the same thing, it's definitely hard.  I wish you the best, regardless of what happens. 

[powderman]

Prayer sent friend. Mom has cancer but doing well so I know what goes through your head at times. My God bless your family. Charlie. 

[wareagleguy]

My dad smoked up until the day he died.  He simply would not quit and I never did anything but buy him all he wanted to smoke.  I look at it this way....why not let him go out with what he wants?  I know it is hard but the fact is making any change now is pointless so why not make him as happy as you can?

[Oldshooter]

Sorry to hear that news! Lost my Dad in 99 to parkinsons. He smoked quit and resumed. Hell Pardner a man has to go out the way he wants to I guess! Support him and show him you love him , dont hold nothing back!  Good Luck! God Bless!

[Hooker]

Knee mail sent

Pat

[Spirithawk]

As someone who suffers from COPD and Emphesema, I know how rough it can be. Oldshooter could be right, he may simply want to go out on his own terms but at the same time that can be rough on everyone else involved. Without the will to fight it's simply a losing battle. My prayers go out to your father and mother and to you.

[LabRat2k3]

I'm very sorry to hear this and I know how you feel. I just lost my dad in June of this year, and it was the hardest thing I have ever been through. Enjoy your time with him and let him enjoy his time too, even if it means letting him do things that may not be good for him. I will remember you and your familey in my prayers.   

[javaman]

Ya know i am going thru my third cancer, last year in the hospital from june to october
sometimes you get so tired you just want to give up
i wish your dad all the best but i know how he feels  i can't tell you how embaressing being in the hospital is
, the pain, the embaressment
from crapping your pants , the damn breathing tubes
let your father do what ever he wants to
if he is happy you will be too. make every day count
i am praying for your dad and everyone else that has had to go thru sickness

[DalesCarpentry]

I lost my dad 13 years ago and would give anything to be able to talk to him.
This past week I put my mother in Hospice care here at home. This is where she will die now for sure. The reason for this is because it has become to hard for my wife to take care of her on her own when I am at work. My mother became a nurse after owning a resturant for a little over 20 years. She worked in personal care homes when I was in my early 20's. She made me promise not to ever put her in a home way back then. I have done everything I can do to keep her out of a home. My wifes full time job is taking care of my mother. My wife has worked in personal care for years prior to taking care of my mother but it had become to much for her to do on her own now due to the fact that my mother is bed ridden now. When I am home I have to help her change diapers and roll her from one side of the bed to the other. Yea my wife is pissed!!!! she says she could still go on a couple years this way. My wife has already taken care of my mother for 7 years but it has been the past year that things have really been tough. The thing about hospice is now my wife has nurses comming in every day to help. They do not come on the weekends though. This does help her but in some way I feel I have signed my mothers death warrent by putting her in hospice care. My mother gets pneumonia at least twice a year and it kills many people that get it the first time. It will most likley kill her the next time. I would not want to live the way she is living. I kind of think this is best. She has no quality of life. she just lays there. She can't hardly see or hear anymore. She could do the most beautiful thing you ever saw with a piece of thread and she can not do that anymore. Ok enough about my mother. I am sorry for your dad and when I lost my dad it really took a long time to get over it. To be honest it has been 13 years and I still have tears come to my eyes. It does become easier with time but you will never forget him. I kind of think that is what counts. I know my mother will die soon but at least with her I have known for years it was comming. Just try to remember the good times. I am sorry. Take care Dale

[Pat/Rick]

Prayers sent. My father died when I was still in high school, almost 40 years ago. I envy the time that you have had with your Dad.

[GRIMJIM]

Thanks everyone, I'm leaving now to go visit with him for a while.

[slim rem 7]

people that smoke, understand those that smoke.. non smokers ,just seldom do..
 may god bless you in your troubled time ,also your father..been on both sides ..

[GRIMJIM]

I just got back. He looks good. His voice is strong, probably because he hasn't had a cigarette in a while. One minute he's okay and the next he's frail and weak. I don't know if that's the way it goes or what. I was glad to see him look so well though.

[javaman]

thats the way it goes, a lot depends how depressed you are
today for me was a good day, even went to lunch then to the archery shop---good thing i did because i sold another gun to the store owner
tomorow could be another story ,gotta go see doc
somedays i like to sing the old monty python song---always look on the bright side of life.
,its starts kinda like this-- when life hands you a bowl of gristle, i just sit and i whistle
other days darkness prevails    but keep up the good fight because there could be alot more light left

[powderman]

GRIMJIM. I ask Mom every kind of question I can think of about her younger years, ww11, etc. Pick your Dads brain, learn from him. When our parents die, everything they know is forever lost. POWDERMAN. 

[Sourdough]

My Dad too has emphazema, he has smoked since he was a teen, he's 81 now.  Dad switched from cigarettes to a pipe following a doctors suggestion about 30 years ago.  All he wants to do now is sit and smoke.  Mom will not allow him to smoke in the house, so Dad sits out on the patio yearround smoking.  Mom lives inside the house, Dad lives on the patio.  Dad has damentia, and can not stay focused on anything, except smoking his pipe.  Mom will send him out to sweep the patio.  Dad will start then next thing she sees, is him sitting and puffing on his pipe.  I have talked to Dad about his smoking before.  He says it is something he enjoys, and he just has to do it when the urge hits.  He's addeicted, and at 81, I don't see him quiting.  Dad is not on Oxygen yet but it is coming. 

Two of my brothers smoke and will not talk about quiting.