I have been waiting around 3 weeks to let the lube set well ( kinda soft lube ) before I load the bullets but was wondering if I need to wait that long .
There should be no need for all that waiting, Most lube will be as hard as it's going to get shortly after it cools.
Unless one or more of the ingredients needs to flash off ( evaporate, as in a solvent ) Some may react to room or outside Temp. but that could be a false indication unless you are trying to custom make a lube for hot or cold weather. I, like many others lube, size and shoot the same day.
my mix is 50% carnuba wax , 40% Vaseline and 10% alox .
Carnuba wax is a very hard wax and most times is used to harden up a lube and some folks like it because it shines the bore. It is also quite expensive for most to use that much.
Ok so the Carnuba is very hard wax and you say your lube is soft and long drying. Why?
The Carn. wax should be hard at room Temp. in a short while, The Vaz. will never harden, and the alox may be just messing the mix up. Bees Wax and alox 50/50 would be a better choice with perhaps 10% Carn.
You are taking a very hard none sticky wax ( Carn. ) and mixing it with two greasy none drying other things.
If you must use the Carn. then cut the Vasoline and Alox. till you get what you want.