#1-
Have you made your appointment yet with your cardiologist?
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Dodge SRT-4 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop, who was waiting for the service manager to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, 'Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?' The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the SRT.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag, and asked, 'So, Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year, a pretty small salary, and you get the really big bucks, $1,695,759, when you and I are doing basically the same work?' The cardiologist paused, smiled, and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic,
'Try doing it with the engine running.'
#2-
Grant L. Rosensteel, Jr.
USAF
"Send 'em up, I'll wait!"
Love it! This has got to be one of the greatest quotes of all time.
I thought this might make you smile.
...conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai.
Iranian Air Defense Site: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Site: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Site:. . . . .total silence!
God bless our troops. There is something about a Marine that makes other countries listen to reason.
#3-
How ALL phones SHOULD be answered!
GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ..
..........
Please Press '1' for English..
Press '2' to disconnect until you learn to speak English.
And remember only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
