Kjosefy, No, you won't be going there for that little indiscretion. Actually, I think it will look acceptable and certainly interesting. However if you have been doing lots of bad stuff that we don't know about and you are pretty sure that Hell is your destination, well...........here is a recipe for Artillery Punch that will fortify you for the trip! I made lots of this stuff while stationed at Fort Polk, Louisiana and it was a hit at many parties. It has been written that this stuff will protect you from a whole Regiment of Artillery, maybe two!!
Tracy
Modern recipe from: Marleigh Miller's article posted at
www.seriouseats.com My punch was very similar to this one and used Grenadine for color, 4 to 6 oz.
"To finish off this roundup of recipes from Dave Wondrich's
Punch, I have selected a monster. The big dog. The epic, party-starting, punch-to-end-all-punches:
Chatham Artillery Punch.
But what is this Chatham, you ask, and why does it come bearing artillery?
In the mid-nineteenth century, an all-volunteer Savannah regiment called the Republican Blues, organized in 1808 and stationed at Fort Jackson, visited Macon. The
modus operandi of many of these old Savannah units was as much social and fraternal as military, so the Blues were greeted with much fanfare by the Chatham Artillery unit. An obliging local patriot by the name of A.H. Luce "proposed to brew a new punch in honor of the Blues," and the Chatham Artillery Punch was born.
There are a variety of recipes to be found for this punch—all different from this original, robust version—primarily because
successive generations found its intoxicating power a little too, well, intoxicating. As Wondrich notes in this quotation from the headnote on a 1907 recipe: "Experience has taught the rising generation to modify the receipt of their forefathers to conform to the weaker constitutions of their progeny." (Ouch.) Most modernized Chatham Artillery recipes are weaker than the original formula, which is certainly strong enough to stand up to an artillery regiment. Or two.
This recipe makes
a very large quantity of punch, so save it for a large gathering or reduce the proportions—even then, you may need to prepare a spare room for potentially tipsy travelers. You'll need a full bottle
each of cognac, bourbon and rum, as well as three (yes,
three) bottles of Champagne. If this is starting to sound like Jungle Juice, just bear with me. The Chatham Artillery Punch is potent for sure, but it's also delicious.
Be sure to use the best quality spirits you can to get the tastiest results. For the cognac, I used
Pierre Ferrand Ambre but any good cognac or even a domestic alambic brandy like Osocalis would work; for the bourbon I used
Four Roses Yellow Label, but you could also try Buffalo Trace, Russell's Reserve 6-year or, for a spicier result, Bulleit. In rum you need a Jamaican style; I used
Plantation Jamaica 2000 but Appleton Estate V/X or 12-year would be nice here as well. For the sparkling wine, true French Champagne will be truly delicious—you're not just topping off with the stuff. But a good sparkling wine from elsewhere will work, too."
And finally, imbibe cautiously! As the
Augusta Chronicle noted when it printed this recipe:
"As a vanquisher of men its equal has never been found."About the author: Marleigh Riggins Miller writes and photographs for
SLOSHED!, a website about cocktails, spirits, home bartending, and entertaining.
