For some reason I just can’t get into this election, none of the candidates move me.
Most of the folks I talk to seem to dislike both of the bums in the race for the oval office and think it’s time for another candidate who can put this country back on track. I looked, but didn’t find anyone that gained my total confidence so I decided to take the advice of my ole Grandpa, “Boy, if ya want the job done right, do it yourself.” I’m throwing my cap in the race.
I don’t have much of a platform, but I do have one, built it myself. It is located between to giant native pecan tress someplace along Coon Creek. I go there often to ponder the many problems we face with government today; sometime I even invite a friend to accompany me. While we watch the game we discuss important things like the price of ammo, gasoline and camo gear...important stuff! If the world problems can be solved it will be here.
As a young man I was drawn to beer parties, they were great placed to learn debate and catch up on current events, with that in-mind I’m naming my party, “The BEER Party, Not that I’m into partaking of a cold one that often in this stage of life, -but t the thought does cross my mind on occasion. After all it was the beer parties that got me this far in life (or was it?)...
Early in life I was greatly influenced by such by such great men as J.W. Dant, Evan Williams, Ezra Brooks, George Dickel, Hiram Walker, W.L. Weller, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker, Jose Curevo and even somebody’s “Old Grand Dad.” With this kind of early life associations you should be convinced I’ve have great guidance to sway my thinking on matters pertaining to running the country.
I’m only gonna make one campaign promise, “I’ll steal from you but swear I won’t steal as much as the other candidates (it doesn’t take much to satisfy me!). I figure by not promising anything, you won’t expect anything, but then you can really rejoice if I did (by mistake) accomplish something. Some say “there ain’t a word of truth in that ole boy” but I swear I wouldn’t lie as much, or try to hoodwink you as often as the clown that currently occupies the office. Just watch my lips to see if they are moving.
As usual, I’m never first at anything, getting in the race late and being a write-in candidate kinda puts me behind the eight-ball. I am not eligible for matching federal or state funds to run this election train, I will have to work solely with the contributions from my supporters, I’m asking for your help, non-tax free donations are deeply appreciated, just keep them under $2000.00 so I don’t have to bothered reporting the income to the current crooks so they can grab a cut of my pie.. (I’ll use the money wisely.)
We will be out and about campaigning, I hope to see you and accept your donation in person at one of my rallies, dig deep and give generously; you know it’s for the betterment of our country. Being the low man on the totem pole I know it will take a miracle to send me to Washington but if you vote as often it’s possible it might happen.. I want to thank all of you for the support; I know I’ll make you proud!! (Just keep those donations coming!)
“THE BEER PARTY IN 2012!!!” (Anybody got a cold one?)
