Author Topic: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....  (Read 1138 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

TM7

  • Guest
Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« on: March 20, 2021, 04:14:05 AM »
Supreme Socialist Leader
President Biden has recently appointed a Golf Czar and major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective September 1, 2021. This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2000 pages) is being rewritten as we speak .. Here are a few of the changes.

Golfers with handicaps:
- below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play ..

The term "gimmie" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:
- handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
- handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts ..
- handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up ..

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equity in scoring.

In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again.

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.   This is intended to "re-distribute" the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only "net score" against every other player's "gross score”.

These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.  Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility. This is "The Right Thing to do."

The new rules eliminate the discriminatory word handicap and replace it with CTMPD (circumstances that make progress difficult).

With these new rules….
I see that now I can start to play golf, which I gave up years ago because it was so unfair to my abilities, and I chose not to work harder at it. I also feel I should be entitled to an annual hole in one. Oh, and I also would like one of those free green jackets that they give out occasionally to a select few.

Offline BUGEYE

  • Trade Count: (3)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10268
  • Gender: Male
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2021, 04:38:29 AM »
I'm sending this to a friend who lives and breathes golf.
I hope he takes it serious. ;D
Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     Patrick Henry

Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     bugeye

Offline Graybeard

  • Administrator
  • Trade Count: (69)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 26941
  • Gender: Male
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2021, 10:13:18 AM »
What is a golf? What do you use to shoot them?


Bill aka the Graybeard
President, Graybeard Outdoor Enterprises
256-435-1125

I am not a lawyer and do not give legal advice.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life anyone who believes in Him will have everlasting life!

Offline BUGEYE

  • Trade Count: (3)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10268
  • Gender: Male
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2021, 11:12:24 AM »
What is a golf? What do you use to shoot them?
There’s a year round season on them.
You have to whack’em with a stick and run’em into a hole in the ground.
Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     Patrick Henry

Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     bugeye

Offline Graybeard

  • Administrator
  • Trade Count: (69)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 26941
  • Gender: Male
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2021, 11:23:56 AM »
Well now that sounds like a silly way to go hunting for them. I've heard of goofy golfers before but had no idea they were that silly. Sounds like something my 2 year old grand daughter might enjoy but I'm sure she'll outgrow that in a couple more years.


Bill aka the Graybeard
President, Graybeard Outdoor Enterprises
256-435-1125

I am not a lawyer and do not give legal advice.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life anyone who believes in Him will have everlasting life!

Offline BUGEYE

  • Trade Count: (3)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10268
  • Gender: Male
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2021, 03:49:01 PM »
Well now that sounds like a silly way to go hunting for them. I've heard of goofy golfers before but had no idea they were that silly. Sounds like something my 2 year of grand daughter might enjoy but I'm sure she'll outgrow that in a couple more years.
They’re tough critters.  You can pull them out of that hole and keep whacking them across the pasture till you see another hole.
But that round white thing is not the actual animal.  I’ve heard golf hunters refer to them as golf balls.
Granny Clampitt thought they were golf eggs and no matter how long she boiled them they never got done.

If I had to guess, a golf would be another name for a Wolverine.
Those critters have tough gonads.
Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     Patrick Henry

Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     bugeye

Offline ironglows

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4387
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2021, 09:00:38 AM »
.
  I take it you guys are talking about what we call,  "cow pasture pool"!
"They have the guns and therefore we are for peace and for reformation through the ballot. When we have the guns, then it will be through the bullet"      (Saul Alinsky) ...hero of the left..

Offline Graybeard

  • Administrator
  • Trade Count: (69)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 26941
  • Gender: Male
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2021, 09:40:52 AM »
Beats the heck outta me, never heard of that either. Now I used to shoot cow pasture skeet. It was a money game. Everyone puts up their money, winner take all. Didn't have any balls in it tho just clay pigeons.


Bill aka the Graybeard
President, Graybeard Outdoor Enterprises
256-435-1125

I am not a lawyer and do not give legal advice.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life anyone who believes in Him will have everlasting life!

Offline BUGEYE

  • Trade Count: (3)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10268
  • Gender: Male
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2021, 09:46:31 AM »
Beats the heck outta me, never heard of that either. Now I used to shoot cow pasture skeet. It was a money game. Everyone puts up their money, winner take all. Didn't have any balls in it tho just clay pigeons.
Clay pigeon soup??  That would be worse than boiled Wolverine balls.
Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     Patrick Henry

Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     bugeye

Offline ironglows

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4387
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #9 on: March 22, 2021, 01:35:54 AM »
Beats the heck outta me, never heard of that either. Now I used to shoot cow pasture skeet. It was a money game. Everyone puts up their money, winner take all. Didn't have any balls in it tho just clay pigeons.
Clay pigeon soup??  That would be worse than boiled Wolverine balls.
     
   ..Hey Bug!  You have to be verrry careful, getting those ingredients, since wolverines can get real disagreeable if you try to rob them of their jewels !  ;)  ;D
"They have the guns and therefore we are for peace and for reformation through the ballot. When we have the guns, then it will be through the bullet"      (Saul Alinsky) ...hero of the left..

Offline BUGEYE

  • Trade Count: (3)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10268
  • Gender: Male
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #10 on: March 22, 2021, 02:22:49 AM »
Beats the heck outta me, never heard of that either. Now I used to shoot cow pasture skeet. It was a money game. Everyone puts up their money, winner take all. Didn't have any balls in it tho just clay pigeons.
Clay pigeon soup??  That would be worse than boiled Wolverine balls.
     
   ..Hey Bug!  You have to be verrry careful, getting those ingredients, since wolverines can get real disagreeable if you try to rob them of their jewels !  ;)  ;D
Them things can make a grizzly bear back down. ;D
So I'm betting that all those "golf" balls are synthetic ones since golf ball players seem to be cowardly types. :)
Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     Patrick Henry

Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     bugeye

Offline neckisred

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 395
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2021, 03:16:44 AM »
Now that Tiger may be done, it shouldnt be long until they realize that golf is a predominately white sport that uses white balls. Then add in the fact that Trump owns a course and enjoys the game. Golf is doomed

Offline BUGEYE

  • Trade Count: (3)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10268
  • Gender: Male
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2021, 07:53:56 AM »
Now that Tiger may be done, it shouldnt be long until they realize that golf is a predominately white sport that uses white balls. Then add in the fact that Trump owns a course and enjoys the game. Golf is doomed
You just might be onto something. ;D
Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     Patrick Henry

Give me liberty, or give me death
                                     bugeye

Offline nw_hunter

  • Moderator
  • Trade Count: (4)
  • Senior Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5203
  • Gender: Male
Re: Golfer Alert: rule changes coming....
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2021, 09:59:55 AM »
What is a golf? What do you use to shoot them?


Granny Clampett said you could boil them all day, and they were still too tough to eat.

Actually, my friend and I shoot them with air rifles and 22's. If you get a low hit on them, they will take off like Tiger W. hit them.
Freedom Of Speech.....Once we lose it, every other freedom will follow.