(stolen from Strange Cosmos website, coul;dn't get it to copy verbatim, not a computer guy)
RAMBO GRANNY SHOOTS TESTICLES OFF RAPISTS
The old lady spent a week hunting those men down, and when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way, said Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp. Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and told him, calm as could be, "Those b@stard$ will never rape anybody again, by God."
Cops say Convicted Rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his peni$ and his te$ticle$ when outraged Ava opened fire with her 9mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.
The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' te$ticle$ to kingdom come, but doctors did manage to save his mangled peni$, police said. Det. Delp told reporters Thomas didn't lose his manhood, but doctors say he won't be using it the way he used to. "Both men are in pretty bad shape, but I think they're just happy to be alive after what they've been through".
The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21st after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering a skid row. "When I saw the look on Debbie's face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those b@$tards myself, 'cause I figured the law would go easy on them (if they caught them)," recalled the retired Library worker. And I wasn't scared of them, either-- because I've got me a gun and I've been shootin' all my life. And I wasn't dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one."
So, using an artist's sketch of the suspects, and Debbie's description of the sickos, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place until she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.
"I knew it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as he!!, it was them", the oldster recalled.
"So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door and the minute the big one, Furth, opened the door, I shot 'im right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'im most, you know. Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up, pleading to me to spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in."
Now baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny. What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year old woman in prison, Det. Delp said, especially when three million people in the city want to "nominate her for sainthood, and a medal."
Did anybody else giggle while they read this?
Papajohn