Nothin' wrong with a .38 revolver, but I''ll bet you dollars to donuts that it has more felt recoil, muzzle flash, and side blast than my 1911 .45 ACP! There's a really good chance it's also less accurate.
You should take your wife's .38, along with a larger caliber handgun out to the range. Have her turn around and face up range while you either load, or don't load, the chambers. Watch her shoot. See if she jerks the trigger or milks the hammer. She doesn't know if the gun is going to fire or not. Then do this with the larger caliber gun. I'll bet you see a big difference in how she shoots each gun.
Recoil only happens AFTER you shoot, so it does NOT affect accuracy at all, and a properly trained shooter isn't going to pull a trigger until the front sight returns to the target anyway. It's just a matter of having the correct grip on the handgun and a good shooting position.
I teach the NRA Basic Pistol Course to 15-20 new shooters per month. I've been doing this for 7 years. About half of each class, and sometimes even more, are female. So conservatively speaking, I've worked with about 500 females who have never learned to properly shoot a pistol before. They come in all shapes & sizes.
I have NEVER seen a female over the age of 12 who could not COMFORTABLY shoot a .45 auto because of the recoil. It's all in the training/conditioning they receive -- whether that comes from friends, husbands, gun mags, the movies, or someone like myself.
Often, they have chosen, or even more commonly, someone has chosen FOR them, a handgun that is too large in the frame or with a trigger pull that is too heavy. This causes problems because of less upper body strength and finger strength. This applies to a great many MEN as well. I know guys who probably can't even do 15 push ups but reckon themselves as commandos anyway. *laugh*
The first things I do as a range officer is make darn sure their boyfriends or husbands don't get anywhere near them on range day. That is our policy, and we stick to it. The second thing I do is make sure they get to watch the kids shoot first. It's a confidence building thing, but they don't know that until later on.
We also do a "Round Robbin" excercise in which everyone gets to shoot everything from a .22 right up to a .45 in pistol - as well as most gauges of shotgun, a muzzle loader, and even a .50 BMG. On average, only one female out of an entire class will decline to shoot any of those, and that's either due to healing injuries, or plain ole' fear.
I've honestly lost count of the females who have told their husbands they don't want their revolvers anymore after I've let them shoot a nice, 1911, and I've lost count on how many trigger jobs get requested by females. Mind you, I've got nothing against revolvers at all. I also shoot one of those, but the vast majority come out of the box needing a trigger job, and for some strange reason, most people don't have one done.
As far as gun mags go, their reviews are usually 80% BS! How many times have you read the words "punishing & recoil" in the same sentence? The .44 mag, even with hot loads doesn't even "punish" a pre-teen. Oh sure, it might push them back some if they are off balance and don't have a proper grip, but "punishing"? It's just pure bullcrap! Throw away the gun rags and go shooting with WHATEVER you like!