Dear friend Saddam,
At least you now get three squares a day, and clean sheets! I haven't had a bath in almost a year, my floors and walls are dirt, and every time I stick my head out for air or sun, those Americans send another drone plane over to chase me back inside!
I sometimes think I must surrender, but Allah would strike me dead, or worse, my followers would!
Your friend in spider hole,
Bin Laden