I got busted red handed by "The Imperial Red-Headed Scorpio" trying to sneak in the house with a #4 Mk1 and a Howaby 300 Weatherby Magnumb. Oh well. Now that there is a big screen TV, a fridge and a Lazyboy in the doghouse it ain't so bad.
Found this gem while trying to find out info on the SMLE
(Shamelessly stolen from another website)
Why You Don't Want a C&R License
You don't want a C&R. It's an evil thing.
You start thinking you'll just buy a couple of guns. Then you think you'll just collect a few Mausers. Then you try to just buy each Mauser by manufacturer, then by year, by month, by stock, by stock color.
You discover Nagants go well with your Mauser collection. You know what a M39 Finn is and how once it was a Russian unless it's a Sneak. The Winter War means something to you. You collect ammo pouches, bayonets and slings.
You discover Swiss rifles. You're pen-pals with the guy that's on the tag under the buttplate. You go to the range with your Swiss and a Remchester man calls it butt ugly. You then proceed to shoot a one inch group with open sights when the remchester can't hold a two inch group with glass. You do a victory dance when you retrieve the target, slam it on remchesters bench and moon him. Your pen-pal also sends a picture to the remchester to moon him.
Your favorite reading materials are gun fliers from C&R dealers. The only articles you read in the American Rifleman are written by Canfield. All the sales reps are on your speed dial. You give them Christmas and birthday presents. You pry them for information on where the next shipping container is coming from and when it should clear customs.
You bribe the UPS man to only deliver when your wife's car isn't in the driveway. You get real good and creative in sneaking in long boxes. You never get good at sneaking in safes. You always need a new safe because the existing ones are in overflow mode. You get caught trying to sneak the safe in, a lot. You try to convince her you now collect safes. You compare your safe collection to her shoe collection. Your dog house has room for a bed...and a gun safe. You have an alarm system in your house. Your wife thinks it's to protect her but she can't figure out why the dog house is wired too.
You buy ammo by the pallet. You never have enough ammo. You learn to reload because you bought the Swiss and you can't buy the ammo. You know what ammo will decrease your group size by .1 inches. You know every country that makes your ammo and have memorized the headstamp codes. Silver tip and Yellow tip mean something to you. You have an ammo room in your house.
Your keychain has a bore light, bore muzzle gauge, field gauge and cleaning rod sections. You always smell like cosmoline. You know by smell which country the cosmoline came from. People think the cosmoline smell is your aftershave. You have special vision that allows you to see through cosmoline. You see beauty in ugly. You have 12 different varieties of bore solvent and you still make your own Ed's Red by the gallon. You rip up your bed sheet for cleaning patches. You get caught ripping up the good sheets for cleaning patches. The oven and iron smell like cosmoline.(The dog kicks you out of the dog house because you smell like cosmoline.)
You know what to bubbaize means and you try rescue every one of them. You but U-Fix-Ums for parts and then buy parts to fix them by buying more U-Fix-Ums. Kind of like a rat on a treadmill. You love and hate E-Bay. Your vacations destinations are planned around gun arsenals, gun shops and gun shows. You laugh in gun vendors faces at shows. When you fill up your gas tank the cost is figure in how many guns you could have bought. You keep a copy of your C&R in your wallet. You know more about the rules of shipping firearms then UPS, Fed-Ex and USPS combined. You always have a gun on order and/or in transit.
The art work in your house consist of pictures of John Garand and framed gun disassembly prints. There's nothing in your reading collection that's fiction and it all has to do with guns. You have pictures of your kids and guns in the same albums. You have very accurate records of all your guns but still don't know how many you own. Your friends are all people just like you. Everyone else is abnormal.
In short, you don't want a C&R.
Because that means there's less guns out there for me.
Ain't it the truth
ZM
