What it might have looked like if the founding fathers had names like, Bush, Rove, DeLay, Frist, Ashcroft, and Falwell
That hissing noise you are hearing are your rights being sucked down the giant toilet aka the Department of Homeland Security.
The Bill of (the rights) Rights
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law not respecting Christianity, or promoting the exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of government supportive speech, or of the conservative press; or the right of the people to peaceably assemble in support of the government for a redress of judicial activism.
Amendment II
A political contribution from the NRA, being necessary to the security of a conservative agenda, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.
Amendment III
No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by the government.
Amendment IV
At the discretion of the executive branch the right of some people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
Amendment V
Except as directed by the President, No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without what the government decides is due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation, unless it is to be given to a developer who is a large political donor.
Amendment VI
In some criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense, when agreeable to the executive branch.
Amendment VII
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law, unless the accused is a significant political donor.
Amendment VIII
Unless desired by the government, excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
Amendment IX
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people, unless the government chooses to usurp them.
Amendment X
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the President and the executive branch.
life is no joke but funny things happen
jon
