No offense to anyone...
Lostsniper308- don't get caught up in the responsibility of it all, the expectations of everyone, your sense of duty. Just take it one step at a time, plan for leaving, plan for dealing with basic (mentally), talk to some folks, get the paperwork, etc. Don't worry about it, just look at it as an adventure. Maybe that sounds lame and I don't know how old you are. I am glad that you are volunteering. Just don't worry about anyone else's expectations. Make the most of it. You can make a new life as a leader, maybe you can get satisfaction from plain getting things done. Nobody will know your history, you will be able to truly be yourself. No macho crap, just finding out how far you can go, how tough you are, how smart you are, how disciplined, dedicated, helpful. It's like Boy Scouts with a contract.