HC Outlaws

[DWTim]

http://www.kold.com/Global/story.asp?S=6111642
http://www.wreg.com/Global/story.asp?S=6111642


Children are getting burned in our streets. Think of the children!

Why does our government allow anyone to own hot beverages without a license?

We need to ban assault beverages and get them off our streets!

I think only military and law enforcement should be allowed to have hot beverages. (And rich urban leftists, politicians, TV hosts, Hollywood actors or their bodyguards.)

Why do you need hot beverages? Hmm?!

People who carry large cups containing hot beverages are compensating for something else.

I think that every styrofoam cup should be serial numbered, and I propose a new tax for each hot beverage cup sold.

Hot beverage cups that hold more than 10 ounces should be banned from possession by the general public.

"Hot chocolate is made for burnin
Aint no good for nothin else
And if you like your whiskey
You might even burn yourself
So why dont we dump em people
To the bottom of the sea
Before some fool come around here
Wanna splash either you or me"

Anyone can walk into a grocery store and buy hot chocolate and a kettle to make his own assault beverage. We need to close the grocery store loophole!

Hot beverage buyers should only be able to purchase one cup a month.

"I call them 'assault' beverages, which may upset some people. Excuse me, maybe I'm a traditionalist, but I see no place for these hot beverages among our drinking fraternity. I'll go so far as to call them 'terrorist' beverages. They tell me that some companies are producing assault beverages that are 'refreshing'."

[Brett]

Come on let's cut right to the root of the problem... I propose a ban on convenience stores!   

[DWTim]

Well, of course government agencies will still need to purchase them. That's why I propose we add the responsibilities of licensing, and transfer record-keeping to an agency already experienced in managing controlled substances: The newly-renamed BATFEHB.

If you wish to continue dispensing assault beverages, you will need to apply for an FHBL-01, and subject yourself to random spot-checks of your inventory and transfer logs.

[powderman]

I'd like to sue every car maker in the world. They are the reason that folks drive too fast, have wrecks, and speed. They make the cars too fast thereby causing all of these problems. They need to slow them down to 55 mph. IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT. POWDERMAN.