Yea and at about 2300 hrs last night we sent the on duty deputy on some wild goose chase. He said "how about I go get a pizza and some coffee and don't look out the window". We even bought the pizza. Then we painted the ugly yellow centerlines green. The green centerlines are not really lines in the normal sense but rather compound curves. You expected a bunch of drunk Irish to get it right the first time?
Then we had the parade which starts at exactly Noon. We missed our start time by only an hour or so but it sure builds the crowds. We blamed it on the Federal Government. What the heck, Ray Nagin got away with it.
Then we cook up a bunch of Mountain Oysters at various locations. We order these in advance from New Zealand. We call it the "Testicle Festival". Then we get to the Corned Beef, cabbage, 'taters and carrots. Oh, and green beer.
By the time all this is over and done we call the Dept of Transportation to clean up the mess. After all, we have all been drinking green beer for the past 36 hours. We could fall and suffer injury, get hit by a moving vehicle, we can't drive because of the stupid DUI laws so it's up to the Government to get me home. I hauled a bunch of stuff to town in my pickup but now it's parked in the middle of a State highway. I Expect a Deputy to get me and my truck home. I was an organizer, I did my part for the community. Now it's time for the Government to step in and take up the slack.
Some of this is true and some is satire. I'll let you sort it out.
