Getting separated

[goodwrench6710]

Things at my house haven't been good for a long time. Last night we had a talk because I couldn't stand the tension between us. I asked if we could do some counseling & she said she wants to be separated. The bad thing is I am going to be staying with my dad. He has no phone, cable, etc.... I won't have internet except at work & I'll have to try to sneak a post in here & there. Just wanted to let you guys know, I didn't fall off the face of the earth.
 Larry 

[Castaway]

Good luck to you. I know this may be too soon, but time will help you to heal the heartache.  Keep your current hobbies, and don't develop any new, self destructive ones because you feel sorry for yourself.  I had a bad two years and am just starting to get my "head right" again.

[MS Hitman]

I've been in your shoes and I wish all the best. 

[corbanzo]

Good luck with it all....  The worst can happen to the best...

you could look on the bright side like larry the cable guy:

"My uncle asked his wife what she wanted for christmas, she said a divorce.  He said,'Hell, I wasn't planning on spending that much!'"

[Jerry Lester]

We'll put in some prayers for you. It'll be the hardest thing you can imagine at first, but it "will" get better with time. It'll probably turn out like my situation, and be the doorway to a truly enjoyable life.

Keep your chin up...

[goodwrench6710]

It's really hard right now, we have 3 children we have to break the new to. That's gonna be the worst part of all. Thanks for your support guys. I somehow hope it doesn't come to an end for the sake of my children. It just doesn't seem to be my choice at this time, the ball is in her park. I'm a very calm person & don't like confrontation. I hope this is in my favor, I don't know. I guess I'll just have to give it some time & see where it goes.

[kennisondan]

My bit is this : be sure everyone knows that you are not leaving the kids; just leaving the wife; remember you will have a long relationship with her about the kids; it is a new and wonderful experience once you learn how to parent your kids alone when you have them alone... takes some getting used to ..
also learning to be alone is best to be learned before you try to learn to be with someone else again... take your time and put the effort you have and the time into yourself and your kids.
good luck.
I don't know much but if you want to talk any time you can pm me... dan kennison

[jcn59]

Happened to me 26 years ago.  A nasty experience for all.  See a counselor yourself.  You will be glad you did.  You don't need her for that.  Anyways, here, years later, I am a licensed counselor in my state.  Trust me, and the others, you are getting some good advice.

I really hope you can turn it around and avoid a separation.

In any event, good luck!

[Lloyd Smale]

been there done that. It seems pretty gloomy right now but 10 years from now you will think back on it as the best thing that ever happened. I fought that relationship and a few others and found that if your stuggling it just isnt going to work. Counsoling helps if one of you is willing to change but thats usually not something that happens for a long term. Best advice i can give anyone is get old! You tend to overlook the eye candy and the high maintance women and find a good one. One that likes you for who you are not what they want you to be. I wouldnt trade my women for any 10 playboy playmates!!

[myronman3]

same as above.  been there very  recently, and survived it by the skin of my teeth.   i am with a good woman now. 

let you kids know that they have done nothing wrong.   they tend to think they are at fault.  even my son at a young age (4) tried to take the blame even though her and i never even argued.   impress on each one of them individually that they have NOTHING  to do with the situation.  tell them all everyday how much you love them.   

feel free to p.m. me anytime you need to talk.   i will pray for ya and your family. 

[goodwrench6710]

Thanks for the help & prayers.
 Larry

[warrior1]

goodwrench, rough road now,but shortly it will smoothe out.

[Lloyd Smale]

One little piece of advice. GET YOUR GUNS OUT OF YOUR HOUSE! Make sure they dissapear before she sees them and dollar signs start rolling in her head.

[Dusty Wheeler]

After 27 less than happy years my ex left.  That was over 10 years ago and I'm still ticked off at her...  I had to kiss a couple frogs before I found the love of my life and the last 10 years made up for the previous 27!  I'm a licensed counselor.  If I can help send a PM.  It will get better.
Tim

[Dusty Miller]

What Dan Kinnison sed.

[m-g Willy]

Been there .
5 kids 2-12
  I got the kids.
The ex thought she could live on her looks.
After realizing that I couldn't  trust her or anything she said, It was a relief when she left!
The last 2 years of the marriage was pure hell for everyone in the house.
First thing I did when she left was act like a single guy again.
I went out with whoever I wanted to and never looked back at what I had with the ex.
I made up my mind to never to fall in love again-just have fun .
Well that lasted for about a year!
Met a woman that was my best friends sister while we were growing up.
We married and she became wife to me and mother to my kids,I adopted her daughter who was 5 at the time.
We have been married for over 15 years and I never knew I could love someone and feel as much love as she gives me as I have now.
If your wife doesn't want to try to work it out it seems a waste of time to me to try when the other doesn't want to.
The only time my ex was interested in working it out was when she seen how serious I was with my wife to  be.
I don't know anything about your wife but my ex was pure evil.
Best thing for my kids and me was divorceing my ex and marring my new wife.She is the only mother that acts like a mother they ever had.


BTW
What ever happens don't trust your wife if she wants a divorce.
Treat her as the enemy she is.
Get any guns or anything else out of the house before she does.
I had a buddy that his wife got up and made him breakfast one day like everything was just fine
 He got a knock on the door while he was eating breakfast and it was the cops with a restraining order against him.
He had to leave the house right at that moment!
The cops let him take his cloths and that was all.They stayed till he left.
Another thing-A woman I was dateing right after my divorce told me to NEVER put my ex down in front of the kids.
That was great advice.
I never did put her down in front of the kids.
She tried to run me into the ground every chance she would get.
The kids just stuck up for me all the more.
Hope everything works out for you and your family but keep these things in mind.


Willy