Andy's Owl
Pete,
I too, have caught an owl thataway. My neighbor across the street, Andy, is into birdhouses and stuff, and has some little eastern screech owls living in the tree in his front yard. A few of 'em live in the big tree in my next door neighbor's yard. Well, one night, he's telling me all about how close these owls get at about 10 p.m. or so, and we ended up watching them catching bugs and landing within 30 ft. of us. After a while, I asked, "You ever pet one?" "An owl?" he says. "Yep", I replied, then went and got my LED maglight. I shined it in the owl's face, then slowly worked my way up to it, then slowly reached out and petted it. It didn't seem to mind at all. Then I asked Andy if he's game to pet it. He got all excited and tried to sneak over, but the owl flew away. He tried like HELL to pet an owl for a while.
To this day, I can aggravate him by asking if he's petted an owl yet!
My Skunk story
One morning about 8 or 10 years ago, I got up early and decided to walk to the grocery store for fresh doughnuts, when I saw a little old skunk trotting happily down the street towards me, seemingly unawares of me. I looked around for a good chunkin' sized rock, but couldn't find one, so I started to pick up a railroad tie to smash it with. Well, the tie got stuck, and I bent down low to give it a good tug, then noticed the little skunk coming straight towards me! I, being familiar with skunks, froze....... The little bugger sniffed my hand, looked at me, then trotted off, right between my legs. It was so neat, and he was so cute, I just set the tie down and watched him go. I guess we both had a nice morning!
Craig's buzzard
My uncle was living in a ranch house on the Walnut River when he met "his" buzzard; he walked into the barn one day to find a buzzard gnawing on some kinda critter. Well, apparently, when buzzards are spooked, they puke. .........and it smells awful (offal?) He didn't use that barn for a good two months or so, he said it just smelled too bad, even after he put on a mask and forked it out!
Bob's Badger
Bob was a big ol dumb fat kid I got saddled with, while working on a ranch in Nevada. His Dad and the ranch owner were pals, and Bob was sent out to "grow him up" some. He was about 5'10" and around 300 lbs.. Ol Bob was always doing stupid stuff, and I was always "testing" him, just to see how dumb you can be and live.
Like one time, when we were riding in the truck with the foreman on a rather long trip, Bob was riding shotgun and I was in the middle. It was a cloudy day, and we'd exhausted our stories and jokes, and were just bored as hell; I nudged Bob and said, ......."Say, Bob, hand me that door handle, would ya?" (We were doin' about 75 with three of us in a single cab pickup) Ol Bob, he reaches over, gives the door handle a yank......... then gives us the dumbest look.... you could tell the lightbulb just came on. Thank GOD he didn't fall out, because me and Lloyd were laughing so damn hard, we couldn't have helped him before he bled to death!
Well, anyways, I was gonna tell you about his badger (really, there were TWO badger stories, but I'm goin' with the funnier one) Bob always liked to carry every gun he owned in his little S-10 with him. Well, him being so rotund, it made for very little room in the cab of the truck between the two of us, for him to bring a rifle, shotgun, and two pistols. Well, I didn't think we needed all of that just to go into Winnemucca and buy groceries. Well, you know how it is, ya leave the shotgun home, ya see birds; leave the rifle home, ya see coyotes! Just as we turned off the ranch road, we see a badger in the road, scurrying off to the ditch. Well, we get out just to watch him for a while, but he comes running back at us. I, knowing a thing or two about badgers, just got into the truck, and said, "Well, he'd be gone before we could find anything to kill him with, and we ain't even got a shovel in the truck".
Bob, on the other hand, was not so easily deterred. HE said, I'm gonna stomp him to death! I kinda tried to deter him, but not very hard. I wanted to see what happened. (cowboys are always willing to watch you do something stupid, as long as you're the only one that's gonna get hurt!) Well, I, being kinda mean, reached over and locked Bob's door. He, being stupid, ran towards the badger, intent on his purpose....... then, with even more sense of purpose, swapped ends and charged the truck! Finding his door locked (lol) he jumped flat footed into the bed of the truck, then pounded on the top of the truck, screaming at me to drive!
It's not so much that I wouldn't drive him to safety, so much as I couldn't. He was screaming, "He's attacking me!" from the bed of the truck while I, between fits of mirth, explained that the badger couldn't scale the side of the truck. The badger attacked the tire for a little bit then left, growling curses about Bob's parentage, or somesuch while Bob got in the truck. Then, he spied as broke off shovel handle with which I'd planned to use if Bob really needed saving. He grabbed it and said, "I'm gonna use this on him!" Fortunately, he thought better of it when I asked him, "You don't learn real fast, do ya"?
Boobs squirrel
When I first started in earnest to start my horseshoeing business, a friend took me along on a few appointments with him to kinda help me get started. (I think he was really trying to dump unwanted clinets on me, to help me get started.) Anyways, we got to older ladie's house, and trimmed a few horses, and I noticed that her bust looked a little lumpy, but thought better than to mention it. Well, as we finished and were settling up, she reaches into her bra and digs around like Captain Caveman digging for his carkeys, in search of her money. While she's doing this, I hear a squeaking noise."Did I just hear that?" Then another. "I know I heard that!" Then, she sighs, pulls somethin' out, and hands me this furry thing! Dumbfounded, I flinch, then looked. It was a baby squirrel she was raising! Between feedings, she kept it in her bra, and it slept there, just like a nest!