Mr. Ruger 44,
Several years ago I complained to God about our multiply-handicapped, severely-retarded son's upcoming surgery: " My son is retarded," I said to Him. He said, "My Son entered a retarded state for you." (this is true if you read the gospels wherein Jesus allowed Himself to be denied certain 'information'). I said, "Yes, but my son has to have surgery!" And He said, "MY Son died for you with NO ANEASTHETIC!"
I knew that He was right. I didn't want to say anymore in a manner of debate at that time. I was silent.
The moral of it all: We experience only what God has experienced. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit have all felt our rejection, rebellion, animousity, downright disdain and INDIFFERENCE, etc. etc. We are getting a taste of what God has put up with from us.
God also experiences, I believe, loss of loved ones(who are rightfullly condemned as unfit to participate in His eternal kingdom), having to wait for us to mature, our lying at times to ourselves and to Him, etc.
Even so, it is tough to hang on, I admit. But when the little voice years ago whispered to me, "He didn't lie to you", I knew that it was so. We'll continue to be tested, and to be attacked by the demons. But their time is running short.
You may want to go to a 'deliverance' ministry to be prayed over. I have, and it's made more difference than anything else in my life. You may also want to watch "the 700 club" to get some inspiration back into your life. And you can call them at 1-800-759-0700 for prayer.
Best Regards.
