protection put up

[slim rem 7]

 well boys its got to the point ,,ive had to put the guns i had round the house for my wife to protect herself, up..shes losing feeling in her right arm but also loseing rationality at times..this is the hardest battle ive ever fought ..she schedualed for a spinal tap as the specialist has yet to find a reason for her problem..shes going through hell on earth..its testing my sanity ,,to care for her.. i just don t know  any way to turn ... except look strait up to the father..she will stay with me as long as my sanity alows
 ..i ain t whipped though.. i ll find   it in myself to care for her ..if need be to the end..i once made a vow to this woman.. i ll keep it..slim
 ps but if yall see the strain come out in my post .. please consider the situation.. im in a definit strain
like ive never faced before....me an two sisters took care of mama an daddy through alzhiemers ..but this is just me an her..the toughest thing is to see this smart woman ,,who is a nurse...have to go through this..
 this forum is one of my only outlets as i seldom leave her side for more than a few minutes.... so thanks for that..
 i get on here when shes sleeping.

[powderman]

SLIM. Prayer sent friend. I know so called men who would just pass their wives off to the care of someone else because they don't want to be bothered. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with getting help, but it may come down to it that you have to have a break yourself. If you don't rest or take care of yourself you can't help her. Good luck my friend. Charlie. 

[Redtail1949]

slim rem 7:

i just got thru praying for your wife and you. i will say this your post speaks volumes about your character and your heart.

my thoughts and prayers

[bearmgc]

Slim, I'm praying for ya. I am a nurse, who cares for alzheimer's residents. It is a labor of love, which demands that the caregiver get some rest and take good care of themselves. When the time comes, when she needs more than you can give, do not hesitate to find a facility for her. Accept that you did your best.

[myronman3]

my best to ya slim.    you are a good man. 

[oldandslow]

Slim, you have my deepest sympathy. It is a terrible thing to watch someone you love kind of just slowly disappear from your life. My wife and I are old but we are fortunate that we are in reasonably good health, her due to 3 very skilled doctors and me mostly to good genes I suppose. But my mother is still alive at 104 and she started slipping away at 98. She has been in an entirely different world for the last five years so I have some experience with what you are going through.

I understand how you feel about caring for her and if I were in your shoes I would want to do the same but here is a thought for your consideration. At some time she will probably need a level of care that can be better provided by a trained staff in a good nursing home than you are able to give. It will be easier on her and much easier for you. You can still be with her every day. We put my mother in a nursing home several years ago and life is much easier for her and us both. We go see her regularly even though she doesn't have a clue who we are are why we are there now. It had gotten to the point where we weren't physically able to supply her needs.

You need to think of your own health in this situation also. You have already stated it's testing your sanity. Eventually you will have to find a solution or go off the deep end and then someone will have to find someone to care for both of you. Here is what one couple did at the facility where my mother is. They were both residents, living in the same room, still together like at home, but with a trained staff to take care of there physical needs. They have both passed on now but it worked very well for them while they needed care.

[GRIMJIM]

I cannot even imagine what this is lke for you. I am not a religious man but I wish you the best.

[Old Fart]

Slim I'll keep a good thought for you and your wife. Will add you to my prayers.

[bilmac]

Been through this with my folks, now our turn is coming up. You have my prayers.

[slim rem 7]

 you fellas don t know how very much good it does me to read your words..
  shes bathing now as sh has a major day at the hospital ,tommorrow..
 i ll always do what best for her,as per our vows, and of course because shes carries my heart where ever she goes..
   if that at sometime means a nursing home..
 i ll just move close an spend as much time as possible with her..no finer woman ever lived..
  again thanks so much.. your words strengthen me .. god bless slim

[Dee]

As soon as I finish this post I will pray for God's will, and that it will be a healing. God is right, all the time, and every time.
If we knew our future we most likely could not handle it, and he knows this. I was talking to my banker this morning, and she was telling me about her husband coming back to the Lord after a 20+ year rebellion. A rebellion so bad he was kicked out of the church he grew up in.
He went to the preacher whom was also his ex-father in law and repented, he repented to the church, and everyone he knew. He now sits in that church every time the doors open since about 3 weeks ago. You just never know.
Slim I told her that everything that happens to me and mine is in God's will. We don't understand it, but I don't even try to question it. I figure if I'm supposed to work thru it, then I will. If I'm not, then I won't. He's runnin things and the sooner everyone accepts this the better off we all will be.
For you and yours I'll say: God never leads you into something he can't, and won't lead you out of, and he never gives you more than you can handle.

[kynardsj]

Thoughts and prayers are with you Slim. Don't think it's bad for you to ask for help with her. You too have to rest your body and your mind.

[45-70.gov]

you  are  very  lucky  to have  such  a woman

something  i will  never  know

[redboot612]

Slim,
Keep the faith, all is in God's hands, and may He take you and your wife in his hands and his mercy comfort you and your wife.

Red

[Squib]

if it is god's plan, then maybe it's a slow goodbye.  not a surprise like a car wreck, nothing painful like a heart-attack... just slowly going numb.  I don't pretend to think this knowledge will make it okay, but at least you know it's coming and have time to strengthen yourself as she slips away.  be strong for her and yourself too.  if you stay in till she's forgotten you then you've kept your promise.  as long as she remembers your love then you are not wasting your time. 

it makes me sad to think of it but it's probably the way I'd choose for me and mine.  tough though, my g/f grandparents just went through it.  the old man had dementia for two or three years.... had a short term memory of five minutes the last year or so.  the last few weeks he was perpetually confused, lost in his house... then one day he took a nap.  that was a peaceful way to go... like his soul already left and the autopilot for the body turned off.  it was still tough for the family but they knew it was coming and were happy for him to finally pass on.

no regrets slim, do your best to the end.

[Gun Runner]

Slim,  were both walking in the same shoes.My wife is an ex nurse also.Right now were battling Fibro, Lupus,and a couple other things.Almost lost her last year as C5 bone in her neck had disinagrated(sp) to almost nothing. Dr. made a new piece from a cadaver bone and plated it in place. Shes started to loose feelings in both hands at times. For the Fibro, Drs. dont seem to have any real ideas about it. Her Dr. understands it and has tried a lot of things. Weve only been married 15 yrs. Am lucky insurance wise as I have her on my military insurance, plus she draws Disability S/S. I do the cooking, laundry ETC...Make sure she gets to her Drs. apointments and so forth. Step son lives at home and daughter is 45 mins away (wx permitting) so I have help ifin I need. Some days she can bearly move and other times she can get around half way decent. She spends mot of her time on the putter doing research on the Fibro. I'am fully retired so I can be close most all of the time.

Gun Runner

[Oldshooter]

Thoughts and prayers for you both Slim, I sometimes sit and watch my wife do for me and our children and wonder what I'll do if and when she goes down. I t isn't a pleasant thought and has brought tears to my eyes more than once. I hope i can do as well as you seem to be and can take as good of care for her as she does daily for me.

Hang in there Pard!

[williamlayton]

There are no words appropriate enough. Feelings are at a lose to be expressed.
You have a soft heart and a careing disposition so she is in the earthly hands that God has designed for her.
Take care of yourself. Learn your limitations. Those are the two things she needs.
Christ Jesus is the power---He is merciful---lean on Him. You can do nothing but care and tend---Christ is the power.
My prayers are for you and with you. Christ will never forsake His. This is a short life and not our final resting place. Keep your eye on what will be.
Blessings

[slim rem 7]

 yes his grace is sufficent .. id be a mess if i didn t know that truth..thanks again everybody..
 she had the spinal tap today.. unfortunately it required me to just compell her to stay flat on her back when we got home..they say not laying flat on your back can put her back in the hospital for a relief of some kinda just about killing headache..she couldn t remember how much the doctor emphasized how important it was ..she thought id made it up..first time i ever had to just plain tell her she had to do something..i oughta be alright though,,as they say its only necessary through the night an mabe half of tommorrow..after that ,,she won t remember shes mad at me though... so thats i guess the silver lining..
 god bless an thanks to all for the kind words of faith an strength.. slim

[littlecanoe]

Slim,

My mother was diagnosed with early onset of Alzheimer's in 2001.  As we look back, the symptoms were coming on since 1996. 
She was 66 years old and passed away Feb. 17, 2008.

I watched my dad suffer verbal abuse, mental anguish and the constant strain of seeing his love fade away before his eyes.
My mom was truly a saintly woman.  She had true faith in God and demonstrated this throughout her life.  We miss her.
My dad is also a Christian and trusts deeply in the Lord.  However, and I have this tendency, he tends to be short on temper
and quick to jump.  As he cared for her, I saw an amazing thing from my dad.  I had never seen him so gentle.  After her death,
as I was considering these things, I realized that I had never seen such an expression of love as the care of my mother by
my father. 

At the end, she wanted him with her.  She needed him there with her.  I'm convinced that even though she couldn't express
herself or comprehend in a normal fashion there was comprehension there at least at times.  I would encourage continually
expressing your love, concern and devotion. 

May God bless you during this difficult time.  May he give you peace of heart and peace of mind.
lc

[DDZ]

Slim   I wish you and your wife the best, and I will keep you in my prayers. 

[slim rem 7]

 little canoe,gun runner an any other who have or are expierencing this lot of mine an my sweet wife..
 i know exactlie what it like.. i watched mama an dad both go through this and finally begged god to takeum home .. right or wrong it was more than i could stand to watch them slip away..
 so i know as one poster said ,,doing this is because god knew i might know better how to handle this than one ,,not so prepared by life.
 for any thinking im whining .. i understand your attitude also..there was a time i might have had similar thoughts as i was taught sufferin was best done silently..that was before i learned the value of just being able to talk of my problems..i learned this i guess first in dealing with chronic pain from arthur,then from dealing with the loss of my first marriage..i thought that was for life.. the depression then was like a
100 lb anvil on my shoulders ..unless i could lose myself in my work..
   to dwell in self pity is wrong ..but ive found it best to talk it out rather than let it build inside you..my story or something similar is going on in rest homes an peoples residence all over the earth..may they have people like you folk that are willing to hear an sympathise.. it does do a person a lotta good and i ll always be thankful for your patience.. lifes not all bad.. today we joking with each other some.. i was headed to the can this morning .. she ask where you going .. i told her i was slipping to the back o the house to see my girl friend..she told me where she would put her shoe ,,an we both had a good laugh ..if it stayed like this, the rest o my life, it would be my
crowning achievement in this life..one that would maby make up for the mistakes ive made in this life.. i know im forgiven thru christ suffering... but i still wish i had been a little kinder to those i  crossed paths with when i was younger..may you fellas recieve the blessing you deserve .. greybeard i ll try not to use your forem for this much ..i appreciate your tolerance,brother..slim

[Squib]

what's to prove by being macho?  complain or cry outright, whatever you need to do slimrem, we're here.  we've all had something we couldn't bare and your situation is worse than anything I've ever dealt with so I know that I personally have nothing but sympathy for the matter- I'll be surprised to hear anything on the contrary from anyone else.  as long as you can keep it together well enough to continue taking care of your wife then you're doing as good as humanly possible.   you're quite strong for lasting this long.  best of wishes.

[Dee]

slim hang in there buddy, Any time you need to talk just email me with a phone number, and we'll hook up. My long distance is paid for.

[nw_hunter]

slim hang in there buddy, Any time you need to talk just email me with a phone number, and we'll hook up. My long distance is paid for.

Thoughts and prayers are with you & your wife Slim!           Brad in Oregon

[slim rem 7]

 my number is 704 463 4365.. any time you want to talk ,your troubles or mine give me a call..heck we might even talk about guns a bit .. god bless you dee an all the rest .. slim
 this of course assuming ive got her down an resting.. also be sure say you from grey beard ..i get junk calls all the time ,,im sure yall do.. if you get my wife just
 give her your number to write dn and i ll ring you..sometimes i find her just rocking in her rocking chair if take a snooze..