I hesitate to write this for many reasons but I think its interesting story now that its over and long since behind me. It shows that not all campfire hunting stories are completely hunting related. I needed to be a bit cautious about some of the details here because one of these two people is still alive. I would not want this to offend the one still alive so Im going to deliberately change a few details which will not have any bearing on the content of the story.
When I began as a Professional Hunter I was in business with a landowner who was my partner. His property was not hunted much over the last 50 plus years and he was new in the business having just built his lodge and received his License and permits for the Safari business. It was and still is a goldmine of big game from being left dormant for over 50 years. The hunting was fairly easy so we took most of the clients ourselves. We could not afford outside PHs to assist with our limited income and the large amount of money required to get this business started. During this early stage of the business we had 4 people coming to camp at the same time for 10 days each. One of the men was quite wealthy. He had his wife along with him. The other two hunters were from Spain and did not speak much English. A common trait of Spanish hunters is their desire to shoot quite a lot of game regardless of trophy quality. My partner and I talked this over and it was decided that I would take the wealthy couple because they needed close personal attention and my partner would take the Spaniards as they would be easy to hunt with and both were going to be hunting.
I had spoken to the man who I will call Marvin many times on the phone setting up the trip. He was a really polite and fun sounding guy who I thought would be a real treat to hunt with. His wife was on the phone on a three way call a few times to listen in and ask about weather, clothing, and snakes and bugs. The typical questions asked by the ladies who come over to hunt with their husbands. Marvin inquired about hunting an Eland during one of these conversations and I said it was a tough hunt with lots of miles on foot to track and find them in the remote areas of the bush. I must have said something asking about his wife being ok for a few long days tracking in the bush. His reply then was; thats no problem for her, shes much younger then I am, and in very good shape. Its me you need to worry about. Im an old man with bad knees and a weak heart. He laughed and went on with the conversation. I should have paid much more attention to this when he said it!
When they arrived they went on a park tour for 3 or 4 days. This is something the lady wanted to do. Ill call here Anne for the sake of having a name in this story. Anne was interested in a bit of shopping and touring the wine country. The tour guide was to drop them off at the lodge in the afternoon on their first hunting day. Marvin had a big bag of game to shoot during this stay and he, by his own admission was not very fit. I was not expecting to have a very physical hunt but it would be hard mentally to get all the animals in the limited time he was here. I would have to be successful by hunting smart this time not my usual gung ho hike the bush till we find them style.
I was out hunting for myself and doing some scouting with the land cruiser in the morning before they were to arrive. It was a hot sunny day much warmer then was typical for this season. I was sweaty in just a short sleeve shirt and shorts. I had been in Africa for a few months by this time and was dark skinned from the sun tan and my legs were so scraped and cut from the relentless thorns that it must have appeared as though I was kick fighting in a pen full of leopards. I never wear long pants when Im hunting because the material of your pants makes so much noise when sneaking through the thorns. They make a loud rasping sound much like tearing Velcro apart. I guess I always feel the cuts and scrapes will heal but the game I spook is gone forever.
I knew the clients were to arrive about noon so I hurried back to the lodge to shower and change clothes before they arrived. I like being there to greet the new clients. I think its a comfort to them to see the person they trusted to make the arrangements for them. I try to think about what I would want if I arrived in a new camp, and offer the same to my hunters and visitors. My house boy Stanley ran into the lodge and said Boss the new hunters come. I was in the lodge when he told me this and I walked to the front entry to greet them. Marvin was as I pictured him, my height but 75 pounds heavier and mid to late 60s in age. Anne was not at all as I pictured her. I was stunned for a moment and tried not to stare. She was much younger then Marvin as he had said. I had no idea she was this much younger. She was likely my age which at the time was late 30s. She had long thick magnificent blond hair and she was stunning to look at! My first thought was can you imagine her when she was 25 years old? I had to fight the urge to stare as I said it was hot and the top buttons on her shirt could not be closed for reasons of fit. Khaki safari shirts dont stretch! I suppose its like an eclipse of the sun, its ok to glance across, or take a quick peek but looking too long will cause you serious trouble.
They were shown to their room and I had to go have a cool drink and clear my mind. How was I going to hunt with these two. This lady was very pretty and curvy and her grandpa of a husband was going to require a lot of work for all the game species he wanted with his limited mobility. The first few days were fine and I soon fell into the groove of hunting and never really paid any further attention to Anne, well not as much anyway. She was just another visitor as far as I was concerned. She was nice, polite, exceptionally gorgeous and quite distracting with all the highly desirable physical features any superficial male could possibly want, but other then that I was focused on the hunting part of my job.
About the third day out she cut her hand on a tree called a black monkey thorn while in the back of the truck. She reached to push it away as we drove under instead of ducking out of the way. I clearly explained to both of them as I always do, not to block the branches, just get out of the way. Almost all trees in South Africa have some kind of protective thorns. Many can be considered dangerous! After some quick medical attention in the field pulling the broken thorns out with the needle nose pliers on my leathermen tool we were off hunting again. Her hand was cut and was bleeding but it would be fine for the remainder of the morning hunt. We would head back and look at it again at lunch time, she was not in any pain. I wrapped it in gauze and an Ace ankle bandage. Her only complaint was the difficulty in using her camera now with the bandage.
Marvin was hoping for a nice big Zebra and as luck would have it I saw zebra spoor or tracks while driving. I took an infrequently used road and was able to track them from the cruiser right down the road. When I saw where they had turned off the road it was a nice open area with some koppies or little rocky hills. I asked Marvin if he was up for a little walk, he replied to where? I said the area these tracks went into is just beyond that ridge and we may get lucky and see the zebras in that little canyon between the koppies. It should be a nice shot from above and the wind is perfect for the stalk. He said sure and we took a bottle of water each and I grabbed my fanny pack. Anne asked if she could stay back as she needed a bathroom break. I told her we were only going about 450 yards up to the ridge. She could see us from the truck with the field glasses. I also told her not to wander about, but get back in the truck when she was finished. She said good luck to Marvin and waved good bye with a roll of white toilet paper in her good hand.
Marvin and I took off on foot, I offered to carry Marvins rifle. He said no, but when we got to the hilly section he asked if the offer was still good. I grabbed his rifle and slung it over my shoulder. I was carrying mine in my hand. We made the ridge in very good time. When we peered over the edge I could see the last zebra moving away through a little draw between two ridges about 500 yards away. The wind was still perfect and we had made it here in surprisingly fast time. I asked Marvin if he wanted to drop down this ridge and race across the canyon to get in front of the zebras. He said lets go for it, with you carrying my gun, walking for me is much easier. We again made good time but I could see in Marvins face he was in trouble. He was as red as a stop sign and completely out of breath. I was afraid I was killing this poor guy for a stupid Zebra. We sat and had some water for about 10 minutes. I was about to offer to go fetch the truck and come back to get him. He sat and expressed a bit of worry about Anne being all alone there and hoped she was not in a panic. His breathing and speech resumed normal and he sounded good again. I was thinking about this old guy and his stunning wife and figured his heart must be strong enough to take a bit more walking, after all look at his wife. If anything could kill this guy it would likely be her! I did learn where the limit was for our walking pace and length of hike! He cleared up well enough to walk to the top of this small hill and peek over the top. When we looked over the ridge the zebras were grazing well within shooting range and we had the wind in or favor. He also found a nice solid shooting rest. At this moment I remember thinking this is my lucky day, He has recovered from that scary and very sick look he had, and we actually caught up with the zebras to shoot one! What Marvin lacked in physical ability he made up for in shooting skill. He was a very good confident shooter. I explained some last minute bullet placement directions. He should be in the center of the black shaped triangle stripes right between the elbow and shoulder blade. This is a real easy animal for shot placement because it comes with a built in target. At the shot the zebra Reared up and ran about 50 yards falling in a cloud of dust. I patted him on the back, told him it was a perfect shot and we headed down the low rise to see the beautiful zebra. He had made a really nice 200 yard shot. One of the longer shots you can make on this property. Lucky for us there was an old road about 50 yards beyond where this zebra had fallen. I suggested he have a rest and bottle of water. I would go back to get Anne and the truck. What a great afternoon of hunting!
I ran most of the way back up the hill on the teetering rocks and thorny bush. Every now and then almost letting out a yelp when a big sickle thorn speared my shin, or when a hook from one of the many other miserable bushes ripped at my flesh. It was a bit further then I realized we had gone. Funny, when youre tracking and following game how you tend to loose track of time and distance. As I was getting closer to the truck I wondered where Anne was at? I couldnt see here outside in the back of the rig? Maybe she was inside to get out of the sun? Maybe she heard baboons and got afraid? As I approached the truck just a bit winded from the run I yelled for her. I heard a sorry sounding voice say where is Marvin? I said he was back at the zebra he shot, we will drive there to get him. She replied I must go back and get him. I was still walking and about to the truck when she said I should stop and go back to get Marvin. I said I could not get Marvin it was too far, and that you have me worried right now. What is wrong and how can I help you? She said you cannot help me I NEED MARVIN NOW! I explained to her that it would take me 20 minutes to get back to Marvin and another 40 to get back here with him. Im not leaving you in some kind of trouble for another hour outside the truck. She said DONT YOU COME HERE STAY WHERE YOU ARE!
I said Anne Im getting freaked out here, you are in some kind of trouble and Marvin is not going be able to help you with this. What can I do? My mind is racing now with what has happened, Maybe she had her period and is bloody, or worse maybe she was bitten or stung on the butt by a bug or snake?
She finally relented and said fine come here and help me get out of this. I was afraid for what I might see when I walked around the truck. Oh my Goodness!
She was so badly tangled into a haakenstik tree she could not move. Her shirt was bloody in the area of her triceps, and there was blood running down her neck. She was squatting on the ground with her butt in the dirt and one ankle slightly under her. Her shorts and underpants were around her ankles. She was in about the most embarrassing position a woman could ever imagine being in. I did not know what to even say to her to make it seem better. I just kept my mouth shut and walked quickly to help her up. I tried to pull away as many thorns as possible from her shirt, her hair, and the dark reddish colored pony tail thing she had in her hair. She would let out a scream now and again as the thorns pulled at her skin. It was difficult to know when she was free. As soon as one section was free another would be hung up in another branch. The backs of my hands were also getting stuck with the relentless little hooks. (Note to self: I need pruning shears in my fanny pack.)
These branches are not soft wood, but more like a medium weight fishing rod. They are not going to break by trying to snap them and there is not a free inch of wood to hold that is not covered with hook shaped thorns. These little thorns are about the size and difficulty of small salmon egg hooks. Standing over her I was finally able to get one section of her shirt unhooked and then her bandaged hand was stuck in the thorns as well. We took off the bandage and she was grabbing for her shorts which were also tangled a little bit and filled with sand. The situation actually got worse when we realized she was going to have to remove her shirt too. It was not bad enough her pants were around her ankles but now I had to bring myself to suggest she slip her arms out of her shirt. If its possible to get worse it does. I have to unbutton her shirt now too! The arms of her shirt are not free enough to allow her to get to the buttons. With her shirt unbuttoned she slid out her arms and ripped her shorts up. Then I think she began laughing. I looked at her and she was hysterical crying and or laughing I couldnt tell! I was able to get her shirt out of the bush but some of it had to be cut and torn to remove the thorns. While I was doing this she said she had squatted down to pee and lost her balance falling backward. She reached back with her good hand and had fallen right into this sticker bush. I still remember her saying sticker bush instead of thorn bush. I had never heard anyone use that name for these bushes before, but in this case it was a good name. She was sure stuck like nobody I had ever seen before! With one bad hand from the mornings injury and the other buried into the bush up to her shoulder she was not going anyplace. She had struggled enough that she had several dozen punctures of her skin and probably 10 or more thorns broken off in the skin of her neck and back. Not to mention the long strands of blond hair still hanging in the tree! The most serious cuts were in her right ear. One branch had gone between her head and ear. The same way a carpenter would stick his pencil there after using it. Those cuts were bleeding pretty badly.
Once we had her out of there she walked only a couple steps and said to me, would you mind,....... I still have not used the bathroom and Im dying! I walked away and went to the truck. When she finished I gave her a roll of paper towel to wipe away the majority of blood she had on her arms and neck. That ear was bothering me the most. I wanted to see how bad it was. I still felt really uncomfortable from what had happened so it was difficult to suggest I look at her ear, without her asking me. She jumped into the back and we went to fetch Marvin. She asked me to keep the awkward details of the episode to myself. I thought about it and then said to her; she needs to tell Marvin what happened. I was afraid she would blurt out the story while drinking too much one night and then Marvin will have thought we had something to hide. I wanted it all up front. She agreed under the pressure that I would tell him if she didnt.
We arrived at the Zebra and took a lot of photos. Marvin was quite worried about Annes tangle with the "sticker bush" so we went to the lodge for helpers to load the zebra and to drop off Anne to get cleaned up and remove what ever slivers of thorns remained in her ear, neck, arms, back, and shoulders. I assumed she would tell Marvin the truth about what had happened. I returned from collecting the zebra and fully expected Marvin the gentleman that he was to thank me for helping his wife. However not a word was spoken. I asked her later what happened and she said she did not want to tell him this and ruin the trip for him. What happened was bad enough and she was not about to add any more trouble when we could just let it go. It was two days later and she had still not said a word about it. I just dropped it and assumed it would go away. They were leaving in a couple days and I would not likely see either of them again.
A few years later I had heard from a client who spoke to Anne as a reference that Marvin had died. I received a good reference from her so Im sure she was not angry with me. I still wonder if she ever told him the story of the sticker bush, and if that is what may have killed him?
