Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
There are two theories on arguing with women . . . . niether works.
Never miss a chance to shut up.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
If you find yourself in a hole . . . . stop digging.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it, and stick it back in your pocket.
There are three kinds of men : The ones who learn by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of experience comes from bad judgment.
If you are riding ahead of the herd, look back once in a while to make sure it's still there.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
After eating an entire bull, the mountain lion felt so good that he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
Moral : When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
