A hard question FPH. I have a friend whose brother in law put 4 41 mags thru the chest of a villain while the villain was pounding away on him with a night stick. Every time the 41 went off, other officers running to assist said goose down from the villain's vest came out the back, but he kept swingin the stick. By the time they got him off the officer, and cuffed, he was dead. Coroner said any one of the 4 was fatal.
I would go with the 147 grainers, and the Hi-Power as far as point ability, and reliability is as good as a single action auto gets. Especially if she can hit with it. Big bores are not for everyone. My wife and 80 year old mother both carry Smith light weight 38 specials. 125 grain JHP +p.
For the 40 S&W I carry Federal 180 grain FMJ FN. I am more interested in the "wide face" of the bullet which will deliver good energy, and will bite into bone even when not hit in the middle of the bone, but on the edge. I carry alternately a Glock 27 or 23 both with Tru-Glo TFO sights.
As far as the BEST for self defense at room distances I chose a shotgun. At home or in the car (travelling), a Remington 1100 I have customized with rifle sights, screw-in chokes and flat black finish. I DO NOT recommend 3" mags but instead 2 3/4" MAGNUM # 4 BUCK as they will more reliably clear the ejection port, and I like the gas operation for less recoil and followup shots. I used this same shotgun and setup for hard entries on SWAT, and search warrants with a 7 round extension.
