Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see
that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the
pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to
avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so
nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact
that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the
passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood
for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't
really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and
trading it with the other people that live nearby for
cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure
for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of
myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you
can
get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's
house.
I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.
I love you..
Call me when it's safe to come home.
