Author Topic: student-teacher relationships  (Read 387 times)

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Offline SHOOTALL

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student-teacher relationships
« on: February 06, 2013, 09:54:27 AM »
Here in Va. over the last few years there has been several issues with teachers having intimate relations with students. Nation wide there also have been others. Last week on one of the talk shows there was a caller who said while in high school she had such relations with two teachers and one school policeman often at the same time. The news as of late has started really carrying these events as have the local talk shows. When I was in high school there were several relationships like this . One ended in marriage. One in the adult being forced to leave the state. Others just ended like relationships often do. There was a couple adults that offered to fix some of the guys up with ladies of the evening. My graduating class had about 27 people in it. It wasn't a big school. Although I don't think these relations are OK is it better to not expose them so others won't get ideas or is it so rampant that it happens alot anyway. Some of the teachers at my high school also furnished booze and maybe pot . Yes it was a private school no longer in existance back then I figured it was just some of the mix as it was a school that grew during bussing and expanded very fast. The class behind me was in the 70's in number. In college it also happend alot.
 Maybe the parents who experinced it are looking harder into who there kids are meeting and spending time with. ?
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Offline Old Fart

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Re: student-teacher relationships
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2013, 10:57:52 AM »
I have a firm policy of teaching from the neck up.
 
Some of these new teachers may not have discovered the benefit of this. One of them get a shotgun crammed up thier backside by an angry parent and then maybe they'll understand.
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Offline SHOOTALL

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Re: student-teacher relationships
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2013, 11:01:20 AM »
I tend to agree but it seems the liberal attitude of the past few decades is catching up .
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Offline KIMBER45

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Re: student-teacher relationships
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2013, 01:10:53 PM »
There is a special trust/relationship between a teacher and a student. A teacher takes the place of a parent-in loco parentis  -and is bound to all the ethical responsibilites a parent has. It is a trust that should NEVER  be compromised. My parents told me of a teacher who was fired for being too friendly with a student. This was in the 1940's .  It's not new. People cross the line in all fields. Teachers, clergy, doctors, bosses, the list goes on. It should never happen.
"In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway."__Mother Theresa
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Offline guzzijohn

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Re: student-teacher relationships
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2013, 02:27:33 PM »
Please, not even for a moment think I condone inappropriate behaviors by teachers. Yes, it happens too often and I think years ago it was just easier to keep it quite but still happened. The good news is that considering the number of teachers it is rare. That being said in the last few years in the five schools I work in there are probably a total of around 400 teachers and there have been two incidents. In both cases the teachers were immediately relieved of their positions, police called, state dept of ed contacted and both teachers were fired as soon as a school board meeting was called. It was dealt with ASAP and no cover ups attempted. Now here is what is interesting. The one incident involved a upper 20s male teacher that had several sexual encounters with a 16 turned 17 year old female student. Charges were pleaded down to where he lost his teaching license, I think five years intensive probation and had to register as a sex offender. The other was a young female teachers with a masters degree and was also an RN nurse. She could have been a model with her looks. She was having a relationship with a 17 year old male student. She was fired and lost her license but was never charged by the DA. Same DA in both these cases.
The schools I work still allow appropriate pats on the back and even hugs but for teachers in this day and age it can be a real tightrope.
GuzziJohn

Offline Sourdough

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Re: student-teacher relationships
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2013, 06:56:25 AM »
 
 
In the early 60s (5th grade for me) my family moved to a rural community, but people in the music industry had found this small town and suddenly it was classified as the fastest growing community in the nation.  Lots of new teachers and schools overcrowding.  Beginning of the year there would be 30 kids on a school bus route, by the end of the school year there was over 150 kids riding that bus.  Standing room only.  Class rooms would grow from 25 to 70.  If new teachers could be found classes would be split at mid term.
 
7th grade:  I was the largest kid in the 7th grade.  Over 6' well muscled from working summers on the farm.  I was the most dominating boy in the class.  I was not a bully, but no one messed with me either.  We got a new teacher in.  She was "hot".  All the boys had a crush on her, me included.  Half the way through the year she rented the house next door.  I would see her occasionally and wave.
 
8th grade:  The new teacher still lived next door, but I no longer had her as a teacher.  But I started seeing her more often at her home.  She started helping me with math.  I was a big male, aggressive, and demanding.  Yes, it happened, I was the one that initiated the relationship.  She said later that I was so big, and dominating that she just could not say no.  After about 6 months I started dating another girl and the teacher and I broke it off.  No one ever knew, we kept our mouths shut.
 
9th grade:  A new male teacher came in.  First day he came over and sat down at the table I was sitting at in the cafateria during lunch.  He let me know he had married the HOT little lady, and that she was OFF LIMITS from that day forward.  Yea right, I was bigger than he was, what a challenge.
 
What I'm getting at is it happens more times than people know.  Often started by the boy, like I did.  When a teenage boy, with raging hormones, looks at a good looking small teacher, morality for him goes right out the window.  She is the ultimate conquest, far more than any of the girls his own age.  So I have never blamed the female teacher, the male is the one in control.  I don't care what you guys say is right or wrong, that is the humane physiological makeup.  More times than not Teaching, Morality, Religion, all take a back seat.  It's the female submitting to the dominate male.  It happens, and it is going to continue to happen as long as there are males and females.
 
I have discussed this with my son the biology major several times.  He explains it by saying humans are herd animals, just like horses, deer, and other mammals.  The females submit to the most dominate male.  The biggest Bull gets all the cows, the toughest Stallion gets all the mares. 
 
 
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Offline KIMBER45

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Re: student-teacher relationships
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2013, 09:39:38 AM »

 
In the early 60s (5th grade for me) my family moved to a rural community, but people in the music industry had found this small town and suddenly it was classified as the fastest growing community in the nation.  Lots of new teachers and schools overcrowding.  Beginning of the year there would be 30 kids on a school bus route, by the end of the school year there was over 150 kids riding that bus.  Standing room only.  Class rooms would grow from 25 to 70.  If new teachers could be found classes would be split at mid term.
 
7th grade:  I was the largest kid in the 7th grade.  Over 6' well muscled from working summers on the farm.  I was the most dominating boy in the class.  I was not a bully, but no one messed with me either.  We got a new teacher in.  She was "hot".  All the boys had a crush on her, me included.  Half the way through the year she rented the house next door.  I would see her occasionally and wave.
 
8th grade:  The new teacher still lived next door, but I no longer had her as a teacher.  But I started seeing her more often at her home.  She started helping me with math.  I was a big male, aggressive, and demanding.  Yes, it happened, I was the one that initiated the relationship.  She said later that I was so big, and dominating that she just could not say no.  After about 6 months I started dating another girl and the teacher and I broke it off.  No one ever knew, we kept our mouths shut.
 
9th grade:  A new male teacher came in.  First day he came over and sat down at the table I was sitting at in the cafateria during lunch.  He let me know he had married the HOT little lady, and that she was OFF LIMITS from that day forward.  Yea right, I was bigger than he was, what a challenge.
 
What I'm getting at is it happens more times than people know.  Often started by the boy, like I did.  When a teenage boy, with raging hormones, looks at a good looking small teacher, morality for him goes right out the window.  She is the ultimate conquest, far more than any of the girls his own age.  So I have never blamed the female teacher, the male is the one in control.  I don't care what you guys say is right or wrong, that is the humane physiological makeup.  More times than not Teaching, Morality, Religion, all take a back seat.  It's the female submitting to the dominate male.  It happens, and it is going to continue to happen as long as there are males and females.
 
I have discussed this with my son the biology major several times.  He explains it by saying humans are herd animals, just like horses, deer, and other mammals.  The females submit to the most dominate male.  The biggest Bull gets all the cows, the toughest Stallion gets all the mares. 
 
 
As far as I'm concerned that's no excuse. We are all tempted. Most don't give in. Your reasoning  could be used to explain and excuse the behavior of teachers, doctors, scout leaders, baby sitters and clergy. You were only in eight grade? She would be classified as a child molester and arrested for her act. The bottom line is she should have not allowed it to happen. Period.
"In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway."__Mother Theresa
-----------------
Not everyone will understand your journey. That"s fine. It's not their journey to make sense of. It's yours.
--------------------------------
Hawkeye: My father warned me about you...
Chingachgook, he warned me about people like you. He said "Do not try to understand them".
 "do not try to make them understand you. That is because they are a breed apart and make no sense".
-------

-------

Offline Sourdough

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Re: student-teacher relationships
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2013, 02:55:48 PM »
I agree, it should not have happened.  I'm not makling an excuse for her or me.  I'm just explaining why it happens, and will continue to happen, as long as there is men and women.  It will never be stopped.
Where is old Joe when we really need him?  Alaska Independence    Calling Illegal Immigrants "Undocumented Aliens" is like calling Drug Dealers "Unlicensed Pharmacists"
What Is A Veteran?
A 'Veteran' -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve -- is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including his life.' That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country today who no longer understand that fact.