Lloyd, you're uncharacteristically short today!
Larry, you are right on track. Everything you are describing is normal, at least for me. I've found I get much more dross from a cast iron pot than from a stainless steel one. When I pour out the lead from the cast pot I find some rust sliding around the bottom of the pot. I gather that most of the dross I'm finding is iron oxide from the pot, that is, after I've cleaned up the stuff.
Get a lead thermometer. I finally did and my bullets stayed within one grain for the first time, not a single over or under weight. It will also tell you if you are getting overly hot.
A decent flux is about anything that will burn off. I've heard, not used, oil soaked sawdust used oa a flux.
The only thing on a mold that you lube are the screws. Keep all of it out of the cavity, with the possible exception of a release agent like mold prep. That's very finely ground graphite suspended in alcohol.
Your bullet lube will depend on what you are shooting and your shooting conditions. Yeah, Bore Butter and beeswax will be decent, you adjust the proportion of each to adjust the hardness/softness of the lube. Crisco and beeswax or Lanolin and beeswax or Tallow and beeswax will all work. Adding a sapofier (soap) helps. I use a tablespoon or so of Murphys Oil Soap.
Have fun, don't be afraid to experiment, you simply re-melt your failures and try again!
Wayne the Shrink