A drunk got up from the bar and headed for the bathroom. A few minutes
later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A
few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender went in the bathroom to investigate why the drunk was
screaming.
"What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring all the
customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I
try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my jewels ."
The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You idiot! You're sitting
on the mop bucket!"