The subject of "Concealed carry"

[jrdudas]

In the next few months I plan to take the mandatory classes so I can apply for a CCW permit.  

I have a question that I have not seen discussed here, so I thought I'd ask for your input.  I participate in Cowboy Action Shooting and some other target shooting but do not at this time carry concealed.  My wife does not object to my involvement in the shooting sports, but I suspect she will disapprove of any plan to carry concealed.  When I lived in Arizona and worked late shift I did carry concealed, but only to and from work.  It seems that in order to conceal carry on a regular basis you must have the approval and understanding of family members.  How do you broach this subject without setting off an over-reaction situation with your significant other.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts,  JR

[rockbilly]

Take her out in the "hood" some night.  Maybe a bad experience will convince her.  I had no problem, I just didn't respond immediately when the law was passed in Texas.  After a week-end trip to Ft. Worth, and almost being robbed in the motel parking lot my wife told me to go get my concealed permit.  I had a gun with me the night the night the three thugs tried to rob us, I truly believe they would have taken our car and robbed us had I not pulled the gun.

I reported the incident to the motel clerk, she call for their security service.  About 15 minutes later I looked out and saw three Ft. WOrth police cars, two OSI Security Service vehicles and six-seven officers loading the three into the backs of the police cars.  After I scared them off they robbed another individual in the same parking lot, they didn't know LEO was on the way so they were almost caught in the act.  I talked to one of the OSI guys later, he told me they had robbed two people and had broken into several cars.

Bottom line, this was considered to be one of the better motels in Ft. Worth, and a secure area where "nothing" happens.  By having the gun I possibly prevented injury to my wife and myself.  Once your wife comes to realize there is "a big bad wolf" out there  she may reconsider your carrying.

[KN]

Tell her to watch the news! It's not just the "hood" any more. Home invasions, parking lot robberies, car jackings, etc. are all happening in the best of niebourhoods.   KN

[williamlayton]

I have, over the years, just ignored the thoughts and feelings of the Hen and well, even the children. They do not like guns. That is not an indictment of them, I guess it is more an indictment of me, a failing on my part, but that does not alter the fact that I see a need for a weapon to be handy. Therefore I have carried for many years, whether or not Texas, the Hen or children let me or forbade me.
I guess I am just an onery old cuss with too much western in me.
Anywho, just do what you feel is best for all and hang the opinions.
Blessings

[Mikey]

jrdudas - I have to admit that I am with williamlayton on this one.  There are far too many people who either choose to ignore or just plain fail to understand the width and breadth of crime out there and the worklings of the criminal mind.

I doubt that your wife and children will understand the aberrant nature of the criminal mind until something happens or almost happens to them.  Even showing bad scenarios may not help.  

If the law says you have to have the approval and understanding of your family they usually want to know if you drink excessively or are a drunk, use drugs or are a druggie, or are physically/menatlly abusive to your family members.  Since I doubt this is the case I would simply let the wife know that I intend to obtain a carry pistol and the legal means to carry it.  If she does not object to your CASS she should not object to your obtaining a CCW permit - there is really no difference in the thoughts behind both, actually, just different time concepts.  And, there is little or no change in the mind of the criminal between cowboy times and today - except that the criminal mind is worse today than ever before.  Criminals besotted with drugs and predatory attitudes make carrying a concealed handgun a necessity as much today as before.  

You may need to reassure your wife that your carry pistol is safer than your cowboy guns and that it will be kept as safe as the others when not in use.  Also, you will need to convince your wife (the children will usually come right along) that she needs to learn how to use a firearm to defend herself and the children as well as you need to use it for your own (all of you) defense.  This may not be an easy task.  But, you can enroll her in a victim's awareness course or something of the sort put on by local authorities to increase her awareness of what happens to people who are defenseless.  Also, you can try a battered wife's course, as a learning experience or a rape victims awareness session.  There are many activities unaware people can participate in as students to learn more about what happens to defenseless people when crime strikes.  Don't let your family become victims due to their misunderstandings or hesitation to become aware.  

Of course, you can always take them to the nearest hospital emergency room on a weekend night to witness who gets brought in and for what.  Or, see if you can spend a shift in the local police station to show them what kind of criminal gets brought in, and for what.  I think that once they become aware of the prevalence of crime and ciminals and the results of criminal activity, even during the late afternoon and evening shifts (we're not talking about the late night stuff when most good folk are to bed) when most normal people might be out and about, they might see things differently.  The police station scenario might even include the criminal mis-use of firearms - which would be a good example of why you would need one - criminals don't care about laws, or you.  All they want is what you have and are willing to do whatever it takes to get it, whether it is your car, money, tv, wife or daughter.  A battered victims group may just be the ticket.  JMHO.  Mikey.

[PeterF.]

Actually going up against the wife or family members could lead to problems. I'd suggest to the wife that this is just an extension of your already-existing interest and involvement in shooting sports; and it's not that you necessarily plan to carry all the time (whether or not you do), but you'd like to have the license so you could if you wanted to.

[rockbilly]

Just explain it to her.

Darling, you know I love you soooo much that I would just die if anything happened to you (and/or the kids).  Since I feel so strongly about our commitment to each other I have decided to start carrying a firearm to protect you from what ever harm may come our way.  Darling, keep in mind, I am not trying to be a "cowboy", its just there are so many people out there that may try to take advantage of us that I am willing to do what ever is necessary to protect us.  I sure hope you understand, because in the future, when we go out I will be packing.  Now come here and give me a little kiss.

It ain't what you say, it's how you say it. And timing is everything:D

[/list:u]

[Paul S]

I had an incident where my 12 year old son and I ran into some hoodlums in the deer woods while preseason scouting. I wont retell the whole story but they showed an "unnatural" interest in my son. My wife hates my gun.....but she loves our boy. Therefore she wants me to have it on when we leave the house. You have to have things in perspective. You don't carry concealed cause your a gun nut. You carry to protect your loved ones.

[Redhawk1]

I just told my wife I needed to get my carry permit, I was tired of carrying a gun without a permit. She agree and I did it. I sure feel better when I see a cop behind me, now when I am driving.  

[papajohn428]

Use of logic and emotion are both fair, I've never had to justify my beliefs in the right to self-defense, but I could do it in my sleep.  It starts with "If I didn't care so much about you" and ends with "would you rather identify my body at the morgue, or pick me up at the PD after I give my statement?"  Some other ammo to use:

You can't make an appointment for an emergency.

Bad guys are already armed.  I just want to level the playing field.

I'm not a cowboy, I just like the idea of coming home to you every night.

Are you willing to hope the police protect you, when I'm right here, and they're not?

You also need to get her to the range, and see what it's all about.  Most women feel "empowered" by learning to shoot, it brings out the she-wolf in them.  But if you're not a patient teacher, take her to a pro, and let him show her how good a shot she can be, without the emotional problems that couples can get into.  

BTW, after teaching several dozen women to shoot as a police instructor, I'll let you in on a little secret.  Most women learn to shoot well much faster than men, because they don't have a lot of pre-conceived notions, nor all the macho stuff that gets in the way.  They tend to listen better, absorb the subject matter better, and shoot better.  One teeny little woman I coached was shooting two-inch groups at 15 yards after an hour, and then turned to me and asked, "Am I doing okay?"

I assured her she was, then after she left I shot up 150 rounds, trying to equal what she did the first day she ever shot a handgun!

Papajohn