Author Topic: Drunks Know!  (Read 548 times)

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Offline jh45gun

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Drunks Know!
« on: November 01, 2004, 05:53:35 PM »
The Shopper and the Drunk

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* a half-gallon of 2% milk
* a carton of eggs
* a quart of orange juice
* a head of romaine lettuce
* a 2 lb. can of coffee
* a 1 lb. package of bacon

She was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind
her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the
cashier was ringing
up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The
woman was a bit
startled by this proclamation,
but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed
single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing
particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the

drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she
said
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did
you know that?

The drunk replied:

"Cause you're ugly."
Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use it.

Offline Dali Llama

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Re: Drunks Know!
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2004, 01:11:59 AM »
Quote from: jh45gun
The Shopper and the Drunk

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
* a half-gallon of 2% milk
* a carton of eggs
* a quart of orange juice
* a head of romaine lettuce
* a 2 lb. can of coffee
* a 1 lb. package of bacon

She was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind
her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the
cashier was ringing
up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The
woman was a bit
startled by this proclamation,
but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed
single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing
particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the

drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she
said
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did
you know that?

The drunk replied:

"Cause you're ugly."
:)  :-D  :-D  :-D  :D
AKA "Blademan52" from Marlin Talk

Offline jh45gun

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« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2004, 01:39:04 AM »
Dali,  I knew you would like that one! :grin:
Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use it.

Offline Dali Llama

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« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2004, 01:45:55 AM »
Quote from: jh45gun
Dali,  I knew you would like that one! :grin:
Yes, that be good one, say Dali Llama!  Dali say he first seek to determine significance of combination of items purchased, then find that punch line explain all. :D  :D
AKA "Blademan52" from Marlin Talk

Offline Leverdude

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Drunks Know!
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2004, 12:40:02 PM »
LMAO, that was good.  :)  I  thought the drunk was gonna say "Cuz you got no beer"  lol.
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Offline Dali Llama

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« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2004, 01:10:17 PM »
Quote from: Leverdude
LMAO, that was good.  :)  I  thought the drunk was gonna say "Cuz you got no beer"  lol.
... or "'cause the head of lettuce looks better than your head," say Dali Llama.
AKA "Blademan52" from Marlin Talk