Well Craig, you got some damn fine advice from some of the best people around. People take people at face value on this web-site and try to answer their questions or concerns honestly. In this regard you have been advised and counselled by some fine, caring people. I hope you have read their advice and thought seriously about it.
I'm very glad that Matt told you like it is. It seems to me that just about everybody has coddled you a bit, feeling sorry for you with such a mean set of parents - a mom who says she doesn't love you and a dad who is never there and then gripes at you all the time when you don't think you're doing anything wrong. Well sorry kid, but but you're the only one who can make it get any better.
If you want a better life for yourself and your girfriend, keep your damned pants zipped up and work toward your high school graduation. You said you wanted to go to college - keep that in mind kid because if you can't control you emotions, and it sounds like you can't, you are going to have one of the most difficult times of your young life just growing old enough to think about college.
I'm not going to take it easy on you Mister, and you deserve that title. You get treated just like everyone else out there - no special favors for an unhappy 15 year old who can't see how tough it might be for everyone else, only himself. You're 15 and packing condoms - that makes you old enough to answer for your actions. And one of them is the possibility of statutory rape. I haven't seen that come up on this forum before but here in New York, you go to jail for that.
And remember the laws that say that if you have had a domestic judgement against you that you cannot own a gun - what the hell do you think statutory rape is?
I don't know what your girlfriend's parents are like, if they know how involved your relationship is with their daughter or what the two of you have done together but I'll tell you this - aside from those who take your plight at face value and try as best they can to advise and counsel and parent you and hold your puppy little hand, there are just as many out there who would offer you only two choices - the hospital or jail. The hospital after they get through breaking you in half for getting too involved with their 15 year old daughter, or jail for statutory rape.
Think about this - the two most important things to you right now are your girlfriend, with whom you are so much in love, and your desire to own/possess/shoot guns. Guess what you're going to lose immediately if you don't learn to control your actions and your emotions. Both.
Your continual arguements with your father are one indicator of your need to grow up and mature. A second is the arguement you had at school. So you got arrested for that - not a smart way to use your head if you ever want the freedoms you think you will enjoy as an adult. The third is your blatant disregard and disrespect for yourself and your girlfriend with your apparent needs to play house. At age 5 that was cute. At age 15 it is wholly inappropriate and clearly the wrong thing to do. If you can't learn from the advice provided by the other responders to your questions, get some from your high school guidance counselor or high school nurse - someone who should let you have it straight.
Or, here's another choice for you kid - psychiatric hospitalization. Got lots of kids just like you in our state run psych hospitals - just like you. Every single danged one of them has the same problem: Mom doesn't love me, dad is always on my ass, I love my girlfriend and we want to get married. It's incredible how many of you must watch the same television shows - you all seem to grow up wanting full adult 'freedoms' without the attendant responsibilities. That simply means that you need to 'GROW UP'.
In essense you complain: My Mom stopped telling me she loved me (when she thought I was old enough to have learned that and can now grow into some state of maturity so as not to need Mommy to tell me she loves me all the time). My Dad is gone all the time and only wants to go to church or fishing when he is home and is always on my butt about something, and went ballistic when he saw the condom in my wallet.
Did you ever stop to think for one lousy minute that your Dad is doing the best he can to provide for you and your mother. He's gone all (all damned) week long and is only home on such and such a day and is always on your case about something. Well kid, grow up! Instead of wondering if your father is going to have a case of the ass when he gets home because you haven't done something, try doing it before he gets home. Duh! Think about it kid, think ahead to avoid a bad situation.
He only wants to go to church on Sundays - he's probably praying for guidance on how not to really harm you for messing with a 15 year old girl. His solitude is found in fishing - yours is found in wanting to be alone in the woods to go hunting. Ever think about trying to combine the two? Ever hear of a Rod and Gun Club (fishin' and huntin', kid - combines both). Ever think of trying to get your Dad involved in one of those with you or are you just too damned busy bellyachin' about his not spending enough time with you - why don't you try spending some time with him? There are two sides to each coin buster, stop trying to see if it's going to come up your way all the time.
I know men from these forums who drive for a living and don't seem to have anything but a few hours to spend at home, when they finally get a break. Try living that kind of a life kid and maybe you'll turn out like some of them - grateful for the few chances they have to spend time with their families. Try doing what your father does - you put your danged self in his shoes for once - just try and see if you can even think you can handle it.
Did you ever ask your father if you could help him with some of his chores or does he have to tell you what needs to be done? If it is the later, you need to learn to think ahead.
Alright kid, here's the scoop - you're fifteen. Old enough to think straight and to do the right thing but apparently confused. You are also old enough to learn how to control your emotions and to learn to pitch in and carry a full family load. That's man's work, not a boy's chore. You cry about your family being dysfunctional because of this and that - hell kid, they're carrying your load. It isn't them, it's you. You want the responsibilities of adulthood and maturity without once demonstrating that you are capable of handling those responsibilities. This is where you need to grow up.
Remember the bit about psychiatric hospitalization - here's what happens to those kids who do the same thing you do - nothing, period. Nothing happens to those kids. They never get out of the system. They stay forever. Whether it's a children's facility or whether they age into an adult facility, they never leave. They still dribble their medications and mashed potatoes all over their shirts - they still piss their pants because of all the pills they have to take, and they still cry like little babies because they didn't think far enough ahead to understand that the situation they are now in is one they created for themselves. They tried to manipulate the world into giving them what they wanted, but what they got wasn't the same thing at all. Remember the old saying - 'be careful of what you ask for, because what you get may not be what you wanted'. Think about that as you are growing up. You want an 'adult' relationship with your girlfriend but what you might get from it may not be the way you ever in your whole young little life thought it would turn out. The same goes for jail if her dad doesn't like you enough not to bring statutory charges against you.
You've got a chance now, and I think you have just about one chance, to learn how to think like an adult and how to act like an adult, which means carrying an adult load when it needs to be carried and making adult decisions, or fall flat on your face like some of the others. You need to control yourself and control your girlfriend if she can't control herself.
You're fiftheen and it's time for decision making. If you can't do it yourself then talk to an adult who can help you. Talk face to face with an adult, not through the web. You need an adult to see your face when you're talking up all your complaints. Netting can't substitute for that.
You now have some indication of how some people might see you and now, I think, is the time for YOU to begin changing and begin learning how to live as a right thinking adult. You're going to be old enough soon enough to move out on your own or to try and support yourself through college. If you begin thinking about the results of your actions now, you will have a better chance at succeeding and getting what you want from life.
I don't want a response from you mister, this was free. You can keep it or chuck it. I would even advise showing it to your parents seeing as how they complain about your being on the net too much and let them try to understand the advise you seek from others - it may help them too. But one thing you're going to have to learn quickly is that you can't blame your mistakes or failures on anyone other than yourself.
You want adult freedoms, then grow up and demonstrate that you are mature enough to handle them.
