OK I FOUND THE PROBLEM!
FIRST: Thanks to everybody's suggestions! While contemplating at the work bench I was recalling the suggestion I got from here and they reall did help!
info: using Nosler reloading manual #4
the other rifle WAS a Rem 700 until it got stolen many a year ago (10 or so now....)
the NEF is new and this is the factory barrel I got on it, no swap jobs or other....
back to the resolution. The small base dies will not fix the problem as the problem is not in the web but in the shoulder.
Or specifically the slope between the neck and the case body.
I decided enough was enough and went through my entire proceedure of resizing again.
out of sheer despiration and PO'd mode, I cranked the die down another turn and made the ramrod on the Rockchucker "cam over" instead of just touching.
I said "screw it I am gonna crank this mother..." and so I did. I lubed a "trouble case" with good lube and motor mic'ed the inside of the neck really really really good. (remember I'm in PO'd mood...
)
Well when the shell poped out I miked for lenght, no change. 2.035 and shoved it in the chamber and "snaped" it closed just as easy as you please!
Then I looked over the case and there is a "band" maybe 1/16 inch wide just down the shoulder from the neck that is "shiney" from the resizing. This band, now showing (which was invisible because it was not resized or touched) seemed to be holding the case out that thousandth or so that was giving grief for loading. With this "band" or section of case properly resized the shells work perfectly! I tested it on a few other problem cases and BINGO!
I also found out that I have one TIGHT fitting rifle and there is a very fine line between being closed for shooting and closed for GOOD! When closed for shooting I can see a hairline of light between the breech and face and it causes bad formed brass. (hence the problems). When closed for good, it is just that!
Also can now tell by the amount the bolt catch lever is up or down how closed it is.