Author Topic: how do you tell the wife? (Read 4661 times)

mhurley · « **on:** October 06, 2006, 04:22:32 AM »

I am getting ready to buy a bushmaster, and have been wanting one for a while.

I believe my wife's reaction is going to be less than positive, mainly because this is a 800 dollar purchase.

My question to you guys out there is: how do you deal with the wife and are there any tricks to keeping her happy as you expand your gun collection?

I don't think I'm whipped or anything, but I do like peace at home.

btw, I am not using the mortgage or food money to buy this.

thanks
mike

Chappy · « **Reply #1 on:** October 06, 2006, 06:33:06 AM »

mhurley:

Me and my wife discuss our various wants before-hand and come to mutual agreements.
My Bushmaster M4A3 (great gun by the way) cost me $900 to Cabelas and $900 to the local jeweler for some diamond ear rings for the wife. I too maintain I'm not whipped and just prefer peace in the house. But so what if we are a little whipped - few people are going to give you any grief when you are holding an M4A3 with a 30 round clip hanging out of it!
Enjoy the Bushy!!

Hairtrigger · « **Reply #2 on:** October 06, 2006, 07:12:36 AM »

Just remember

It is easier to ask for forgivness than to get permission!

LEO · « **Reply #3 on:** October 06, 2006, 02:23:36 PM »

You get a wife like mine who has never said a word about any gun, hunting, or fishing stuff I have bought. Now keep in mind I don't bankrupt us with it and my wants are pretty simple but still the fact is she has never said a word. In fact she has bought me several guns. Now an AR, if I didn't already have one, would be an easy one because in her eyes that would be a tool for work and the fact that it would increase my chances of making it through the day, she would probably go buy it for me.

Gregory · « **Reply #4 on:** October 06, 2006, 03:03:24 PM »

My wife likes to quilt, she has a $2,000 sewing machine and I don't ask what she spends on fabric and she doesn't ask what I spend on guns, even though I tell her. My pay takes care of 90% of the bills and if I can set aside money for some of my toys it's fine. Bills get paid first.
We're both happy.

rzwieg · « **Reply #5 on:** October 06, 2006, 11:07:41 PM »

Be honest...and very careful.

teddy12b · « **Reply #6 on:** October 10, 2006, 02:02:03 AM »

Years ago I sold a Colt Match Target H-bar A2 AR-15. I didn't like selling it but it was the only way I could pay to put curtains in my house that SHE wanted. She didn't live there either, just visited. She knew I did that for her. I recently just bought a bushy 6 position lower with a 6.8mm upper and I told her all abuot it. It's give and take, I've learned that much in my two months of marriage.

S.S. · « **Reply #7 on:** October 11, 2006, 06:45:05 AM »

My starting line is "How are we doing financially this month?"
Normally the conversation ends right there with her answer.

Now days, I have to really want a new firearm pretty bad
before I try to buy it anyway. Most firearms on the market are so
overpriced as to really not be worth the money to me anyway!
The older I get, the more the words
"HOW MANY OF THOSE THINGS DO YOU REALLY NEED?"
Make sense to me.. I actually sold off some of my firearms a little while back,
I simply had no room for them .

rockbilly · « **Reply #8 on:** October 19, 2006, 04:22:40 AM »

I guess I have been really blessed, my young bride of near fifty years has never said a word about my gun purchases, matter iof fact, she has purchased a large number for me. Both safes are buldging, and there are a number that have to be stored in a closet because the safe is full. When my wife was recently asked if she approved of me owning so many guns, and what did she plan to do with them if something happened to me, she answered, "that is a part of my retirement fund, if something happens to Bill, I will sell the guns and tour the world." I don't know how far she will get, but I do think she can take a nice trip.

If you convince the wife at an early stage that buying guns is an investment, that should make it easier. But in buying, try to buy quality, keep it in good shape, and it can truly be an investment.

teddy12b · « **Reply #9 on:** October 19, 2006, 05:50:34 AM »

Another great strategy I use when telling my wife about buying guns is that if we get in a pinch for cash we can always take them to a local store and get about 1/3 of what I paid for them easily maybe upwards of 2/3 of what I paid. It all depends on the gun but somebody will always give you something for them if you really need it. I complimented my story of cashing out guns by an real life example of when I needed to pay off her ring. I think if you explain to your wife that they truely are an investment and that you can get something out of them someday, she might not think of them as a sunk cost.

Tn Jim · « **Reply #10 on:** October 21, 2006, 02:24:52 AM »

I am wanting to buy a Bushy M4A3 too. I told my wife last week I was strongly considering it and she said "Fine, but only if you get me one too". Gotta love it!

ihuntbucks · « **Reply #11 on:** October 21, 2006, 06:16:45 PM »

I'm kind of in the same boat as "Gregory" with his wife's quilting.Mine sew and emborders(sp?).She has 3 sewing mach. and 3 embrod. mach.One cost 7K and another one 3K,not to count the other mach and gadgets she has with them.My wife,thus,NEVER says anything about what I buy.Isn't live grand?

.Everytime she gets a new gadget I just smile

.........Rick

Coppertop · « **Reply #12 on:** October 25, 2006, 12:45:39 PM »

Not to be a smart A--, But i got rid of mine so telling her is not a big problem these days. When we were married she never said anything as long as the bills were paid and she had her mad money.

Heavy C · « **Reply #13 on:** October 26, 2006, 03:39:39 PM »

You could always use the, "how many pairs of black shoes do you need?" argument.

Just kidding. Honesty has always worked for me and I too taught my wife that firearms can actually be an investment. I had two 45 ACP revolvers and decided to get rid of one at one of my local pawn shops. She was skeptical to say the least. I saw a rifle I wanted so I traded the pistol for the rifle and had the guy throw in an extra $100. When I got home she was convinced and just to ensure that any future acquisitions would be easy I let her have the $100 bill. The proof is in the pudding! The safe is full and she surprised me with an o/u shotgun for my birthday! She also makes jewelry so there is definitely some give and take.

Good luck!

Airsporter · « **Reply #14 on:** October 29, 2006, 12:44:59 PM »

After 30 years, I consider it a 'no win situation.' I ordered a couple cases of South African 7.62 from AIM early last week. Should have been here by Friday - when she was at work. But, because they're f'-ed-up, it isn't shipping till tomorow and will likely be delivered when my wife is at home. Mortgage is paid, food on the table, but yes, I'll catch some grief. And, she makes more money than I do! So, I've decided to have to start having stuff shipped to my work address.

S.S. · « **Reply #15 on:** November 03, 2006, 06:41:50 AM »

Well, I found out a while back that my wife had not been telling me when we did not have the money for something I wanted. Her reasoning was that I work hard and she wanted me to have the things I wanted ! $810.00 dollars worth of bounced check and service charges have taught me quite a lesson ! YES, I really think about every penny I spend now. I never thought about the money my "shooting habit" was costing. This is as bad as gambling or playing the lottery! NO MORE GUNS for quite a while for me. ... Self imposed pennitance for being so foolish. My wife and I had two different check books and she forgot to deduct mine..... Big time OUCH !!! One checkbook now!
Learn from My mistake folks.... I made a big one and feel like an A$$ now ! Should she have told me
sooner "YES"..... Should I have been more responsible "Absolutely"....
There is my confession....

Phoneman · « **Reply #16 on:** November 11, 2006, 01:52:20 PM »

I work three jobs. One pays for All bills and mad money. Other one is a dream job. I work part time at a gun store. I take trade for guns or supplys instead of money. Third goes for my mad money. Hunting equipment Support my other hobbies and give some to her. Helps that she also has a full time job. That money goes for anything she wants. trips, clothes her hobbies. Even after all that I still get grief for bringing home a new gun. You can't win.

ggeilman · « **Reply #17 on:** December 08, 2006, 07:46:35 AM »

How do I tell the wife? It is my wife that wants the AK or am AR-15! We just need to pay off a few of the rifles I just bought first. Perhaps in a year or two.

KN · « **Reply #18 on:** December 08, 2006, 10:35:01 AM »

Your ultimate goal should be to create a collection large enough that she can't possibly keep track of what you already have. Then when you add to it she'll never notice. Don't ask, Don't tell. Works wonders for me. And don't ever give them the combo to the safe. KN

perklo · « **Reply #19 on:** December 14, 2006, 09:07:31 AM »

mhurley,

I have the theory that if you must be whipped, then "p"-whipped is the best way to be!!!

- perklo

PS - love my Bushmaster AR15 A2!

williamlayton · « **Reply #20 on:** December 17, 2006, 01:57:53 AM »

I have "MY" money that I set aside for "ME" and I do as I please with it. My wife, the Hen, has no interest in my guns or golf so there is no need to tell her anything.
If I would I am certain I would be tested. Not because I did it just because she would not understand. I don't know what to tell her so I don't.
Blessings

mt3030 · « **Reply #21 on:** December 30, 2006, 11:08:05 AM »

Don't bother. If you have to use milk/shoe money, then you should NOT buy it. If it is disposable cash, bring it home. Next turn is her. Just be fair.

mikedb · « **Reply #22 on:** December 30, 2006, 03:47:07 PM »

Quote from: Gregory on October 06, 2006, 03:03:24 PM

My wife likes to quilt, she has a $2,000 sewing machine and I don't ask what she spends on fabric and she doesn't ask what I spend on guns, even though I tell her. My pay takes care of 90% of the bills and if I can set aside money for some of my toys it's fine. Bills get paid first.
We're both happy.

My wife quilts too. Machine, fabric and trips to shows can cost some too. We came to the same point; dont ask. I work and she works so we should both have toys as long as the bills, retirement plan and college for the kids are taken care of. I dont hang out in bars or stay out all night. I am home to help with stuff around the house unless I am hunting fishing or at the range. She has no worries about me chasing women because I am too cheap; rather spend the money on my toys.

Hairtrigger · « **Reply #23 on:** December 31, 2006, 05:24:31 AM »

Quote from: mt3030 on December 30, 2006, 11:08:05 AM

Don't bother. If you have to use milk/shoe money, then you should NOT buy it. If it is disposable cash, bring it home. Next turn is her. Just be fair.

Kind of like seeing a new Harley Davidson sitting outside of a trailer home next to a 1960's chevy pickup

mt3030 · « **Reply #24 on:** January 01, 2007, 11:07:17 AM »

Quote from: Hairtrigger on December 31, 2006, 05:24:31 AM

Quote from: mt3030 on December 30, 2006, 11:08:05 AM
Don't bother. If you have to use milk/shoe money, then you should NOT buy it. If it is disposable cash, bring it home. Next turn is her. Just be fair.

Kind of like seeing a new Harley Davidson sitting outside of a trailer home next to a 1960's chevy pickup

Yep. If that is what blows their skirts up. Nothing like a couple spending their disposable income like they want to. I sure wouldn't try to judge others on how they live. If anyone thinks they have that right, they are a snob.

scout34 · « **Reply #25 on:** January 03, 2007, 11:47:31 AM »

I'm lucky in that my wife while not an avid shooter, still enjoys guns. I show her every gun I bring home and she reserves the right to "lay claim" to the ones she likes. Sort of a, "That's really a nice M4. Go get your own", kind of thing.

Even when you have trading fever, never sell the ones she likes. Never sell inheritances, or the ones she got you as gifts.

You want your wife to approve of your gun purchases? Find a way to get her into guns.

dpastordan · « **Reply #26 on:** February 03, 2007, 04:20:59 PM »

I've always had a "mad money" account for such whims. I learned early in marriage that trying to use any argument for the purchase of a gun would not win. So I just set up an account with money made from sales, part-time work, gifts of money to me. She has my paycheck so the bills get paid. She can't complain about my gun purchases cause that check account is in my name. I give her plenty of warning...talking about my next purchase. She has learned that when times get tough, I will sell what is necessary. Funny, she never hears me complain when I purchased all the equipment for her latest hobby - stained glass. Forked out enough to buy a nice Remington 700 for her hobby. I didn't shed a tear.

Hairtrigger · « **Reply #27 on:** February 04, 2007, 01:43:55 AM »

My wife does not know about the "valentines gift" she will be giving me this year.
I doubt she will find out either

gunblade · « **Reply #28 on:** February 08, 2007, 09:32:47 AM »

I simply told my wife that I had been buying and selling guns for my entire adult life, long before I met her and would continue to do so whether she approved or not...that was part of who I was and if she were to accept me she would also have to accept that part of me. I figure as long as my responsibilities are met, the money I earn is mine to do with what I please. You must reciprocate of course and allow her to have the same freedom with whatever trips her trigger.

Gdbyrd · « **Reply #29 on:** February 17, 2007, 10:23:32 PM »

My wife hates guns and all things that "kill the poor animals." After being married for a little bit over 4 years, I've come to accept a certain amount of occassional grief to be happy. A lot of factors go into it before you can decide what you should do..but if you don't say anything and just make a relatively large purchase without her knowing I can tell you she'll be hurt..and hell hath no fury like a womans scorn. Give a heads up, feel for a reaction, then make your decision.

You make some choices in life to be happy. You NEED to make it clear before you make some of those that it's not going to be one you'll regret.