Lotta good input for you here. My advice: go for a big bore compact semi auto, & don't worry about magnum velocity. .45acp is a STOPPER, easy to control, & comfortable to fire. It's also cheap enough to shoot frequently.
If you are going to bet the lives of you & your family on it, you will need to shoot both frequently & critically - to stay proficient.
I live in deep South Texas. Our border area (urban & rural) is basically a free fire zone. Our weather here is HOT & STICKY 9 months out of the year. Our state CCW law dictates weapons must be concealed, so I carry a Colt Lwt Commander / .45acp / basic reliability job / 1 or 2 extra Wilson 8 rnd mags / Milt Sparks IWB leather, & don't feel outgunned.
A GOOD belt & Tshirt, under a baggy untucked sport / work shirt - or tac vest, & nobody is the wiser.
Of course it won't fit in your pocket like your back up, but you would be surprised how much more easily ANY single stack 1911 platform pistol conceals, compared to most "smaller" guns....
Last word: If you are going to pack, don't cheap out on your equipment - your family's lives depend on it.