There is nothing whatever the matter with me;
I am just as healthy as I can be.
I have arthritis in both my knees
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, and my blood is thin
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
My teeth eventually have to come out
And my diet - I hate to think about!
I am overweight and I can't get thin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
I think my liver is out of whack,
And a terrible pain is in my back,
My hearing is poor, my sight is dim;
Most everything seems to be out of trim.
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
I have arch supports for both of my feet,
Or I wouldn't be able to go on the street,
Sleeplessness I have, night after night
And in the morning I'm just a sight,
My memory's failing, my head's in a spin
I'm practically living on aspirin,
But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
The moral is, as this tale we unfold
That for you and me who are growing old,
It's better to say "I'm fine" with a grin
Than to let them know the shape we are in.
