Just remember to get a gun for her and not yourself. I also had the same problem. I thought my wife should carry a .40, 9mm, or 38 special. She held many and guess what she found to like the most? Okay, an old Colt model .357 revolver with 4inch barrel. That's right, the old predecessor to the famous python. Although she does shoot 38's in it, she also likes the full house 357's. I would say get one that she says fits nicely, and also one that she will actually carry when needed. If she's already flinching at the gun, try something else. If she's new to shooting, it will be almost impossible for her to get over the fear of that particular gun. You could always start out small and then build her up to something else when she gets the hang of throwing lead.